


the lost and the wanderers

by softshark



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Fathers & Sons, Gen, M/M, Psychic Bond, just a space elf au with suspiciously similar elements of doctor who at play, not a doctor who au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-14 03:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softshark/pseuds/softshark
Summary: findekáno gets lost in space, having been found by the enigmatic time traveler, nòm, findekano takes the long road home through the bowels of spacetime itself. and maybe, just maybe, nòm finds his own way home along the way.





	1. lost

**Author's Note:**

> as mentioned in the tags, this borrows a lot from doctor who, but it's very far from actually being a doctor who au. also, for names- father names are being used as official military names, somewhat like last names, mother names are being used as their casual, off duty names.

Turukáno placed his hand heavily against the window looking out on the asteroid field. Asteroid field was, perhaps, a misnomer. This was a debris field, formerly an asteroid field, but it’s gravitational pull had brought other mishmashes of junk from nearby civilizations into the mix, or debris from wreckages that had run afoul of it. This was a debris field, a natural junk yard of the universe, created by the universe, and now, his brother’s body was a part of it.

He could hear their sister screaming in the background, it was part of the din of noise he could barely hear over the pounding in his ears.

It had been, was supposed to be, a straightforward mission. One of their ships had fallen a wreck of this particular field a week ago, no one had been killed (the escape pods worked fine), and they had been sent to retrieve the black box from the wreckage, to affirm what happened, for paper works’ sake. Everything had been fine, his brother, ever the great pilot, had navigated the asteroid field flawlessly, and he, Turno, and Irissë had boarded the wreckage, acquired the black box, and made it back to the ship. That’s when everything had gone wrong

He hadn’t seen it, hadn’t seen what it was, but _something_ , and Turno had no idea what it could be, had attacked their ship. Climbing and crawling through the walls, tearing the electrical wires and grids apart. Findekáno had managed to chase it into an escape pod... And was forced to make the decision- to sacrifice himself, so that his younger siblings could live. Turukáno watched, almost as if in slow motion, reaching the escape pod just too late, his brother’s hand slam on the button, his eyes meeting Turno's, wide, as the vacuum of space sucked him out into the void, his body disappearing in to the asteroid field, becoming just another part of the junk pile.

 

Turukáno stood there for he didn’t know how long, legs numb in shock, but not giving out. Hand plastered to the cold glass of the door. Finally, he sank to his knees, as reality washed over him, acceptance taking a hold of him, and horror filling his heart. What was he going to tell his father….?  
“Irissë…” he said hoarsely, “Irissë, send a distress call, neither of us are adequate enough pilots to get out of this asteroid field safely.”

“Our BROTHER, Turukano!” Irissë sobbed out in anger, as if affronted at being asked to do anything when she is still reeling from that lost.  
“Is gone. Yes.” Turukano said, flatly. “And we are stranded. And we don’t know whats out there. What attacked our ship, whether it’s still out there, and either way, we are floating in a dead hunk of metal, we will run out of oxygen, or freeze soon.”

Turukano raised his hands to wrap them both around the back of his neck. Trying to chase away the feelings of fear and heartbreak his brother felt before his death. Their space station believed heavily in utilizing families as tactical units. All officers who had a family member also enlisted had a psychic receptor installed on the back of their neck. It was discovered that close blood family members could intercept people’s brain waves, read each other’s emotions and communicate non-verbally when heightened. The receptors did just that, and Turukáno thanked god his mother and father were too far away to have experienced their son’s last moments the way Turukáno and Irissë had. The receptor seemed a curse now.

Their brother’s feelings in the last seconds of his life seemed to echo around, hollow, in their very souls..  
A vision of long red hair swam in his mind, suddenly, a handsome smile, beaming down on his brother. Maitimo. He had forgotten. He turned to Irissë, face red and tear stained.

“Send the distress call. Tell them we need retrieval, urgently. And tell them…. Tell them Findekáno’s gone.” His voice broke.  
Tomorrow had been his brother’s wedding day.

 

 

 

 

 ───── ✩ ─────

 

 

Cold. It was a cold unlike anything Findekáno had felt before in his life, and yet, it didn’t seem to freeze, he didn’t feel the agony of cold. Maybe because it was so cold, maybe his body couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. Or maybe it was because he couldn’t breathe. That was another thing, it was strange, his entire body felt stretched, he felt like a balloon… No oxygen inside him, just lightness. He’s not sure how much time passed between the moment he was sucked out, and the moment he blacked out, but in the final seconds, one thing filled his mind…. Long, beautiful red hair, a handsome smile, a radiant, loving smile, filled with love, love all for him.

Tomorrow was supposed to be my wedding day.

 

 

 

───── ✩ ─────

 

Nelyo sat in front of secluded porthole, behind a pile of junk, in a forgotten, quiet part of the space station. It was a perfect place to watch the sunrise, a spectacle which never got old. Even living on the space station his whole life, watching the sun peak over the horizon of the planet below them was always a sight to behold. It was something Findekáno never cared for, he found it boring.  
Findekáno.  
Nelyo rested his head against a wall, closing his eyes against the glory of the sun’s growing light. Yesterday had been their wedding day, or would have been, but Findekáno had never returned home from what should have been a non-to-do mission. His siblings came home shattered and exhausted. Nelyo had been with Commander Nolofinwë when the dispatch came through, had been there when Artanis, who had been on dispatch duty at the time, her voice quavering conferred to Nolofinwë that an emergency vehicle had been sent to retrieve his two younger children… And that his eldest was gone. Findekáno wasn’t coming home.

In that moment, Nelyo felt his entire world crumble. In retrospect, he probably would have seen the same feeling in his commander’s face, had he himself not been reeling.

In the day’s since, the entire station seemed almost in trance. Commander Nolofinwë had temporarily relieved himself of his station and duties, and his brother Arafinwë, captain of the Science division and Fëanáro, captain of the Engineers division, took up a joint command. In the failing of the Commander, the Captain of the Military division should take up acting command….. But without discussion, it had been unanimously agreed Nelyo was in no more state for command than Nolofinwë.

  
There was no body, and, without a body, it was hard to truly accept that Findekáno was gone and never coming back. It was strange, to want to gaze upon your fiancé’s cold, dead face; to see it in the state of that final, lifeless sleep, but Nelyo would do anything to see it. To have the closure, to kiss him goodbye one last time.

Nelyo almost envied Turukáno. Watching the void suck Findekáno out into nothingness…. Surely the finality would be better. Because there was no body, customary funerary services were rendered null and void, thus no funeral had been held yet, the Administrative division trying to decide how best to go about it.

Nelyo had slept through what would have been his wedding day. No one stopped him when he walked into the medical wing and took a syringe of sedative, pity and uncertainty riddled on their faces.

One shot was all it took to knock him out all day and night. Nelyo was certain lack of sleep the night before, and the sheer grief of it all did the rest. Now here he sat, watching the sunrise, on a planet facing a day, and a life whose entire direction had been destroyed.

“Mind if I join you?” A groggy voice broke Nelyo from his reverie.  Nelyo looked up, his would-be father-in-law was standing before him, looking older than he ever had, wearing sleep clothes.

Nelyo scooched over as a way of answering, but replied, “How’d you find me here?”  
“Truth be told,” Nolofinwë said, sitting with a great sigh, “I’ve been wandering all over the station for the better part of an hour looking for you. I came to your apartment, but you weren’t there… I figured I’d take a walk and see if I stumbled across you.”  
Nelyo gave him a smile but made no reply. They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Nolo broke it.  
“How are you doing?”

Nelyo was quiet. It took him a minute to make his answer, “I’m supposed to be in bed right now. In my new marital apartment, in a bed I share with my husband. I’m supposed to be exhausted after a night of partying and….” He shot a glance at Nolo, who raised his brow, good naturedly, “Well. Sharing a lazy morning with my new husband. That’s where I’m supposed to be. But instead I’m here… Watching the sunrise with a man who will never be my father in law, with a massive hang over from a sedation shot I took because I couldn’t bear the grief of spending my wedding day mourning my fiancé’s death.”

Nolo nodded, slowly, absentmindedly. Saying nothing but, “Mmmm….” And they lapsed into quiet for several more minutes.  
“I consider you my son-in-law.” He said, matter-of-factly, and Nelyo turned to look at him, finding Nolofinwë’s eyes staring in to his. “I don’t think a technicality like….. that, should stop that. My son was one day away from marrying you…. In my heart, you’re my son.”  
Nelyo felt his heart seize, and words failed him.

Nolofinwë gave him a smile, “And I’m not just saying that because I don’t want to lose out on the joy of spiting your father.”  
Nelyo let out a laugh, and Nolofinwë broke into a soft smile. “Speaking of your father, you’re more like him than I think most of us realize.”  
Nelyo turned to raise an eyebrow at him, a small smile on his lips.  
“I can’t think of any other person on this space station who would choose to wax poetically like that in response to a simple, ‘how are you?’

Nelyo lapsed in to laughter all over again, and Nolofinwë’s smile, broke even wider across his face.

As Nelyo’s laughs quieted, his face softened, reaching up to his neck to rub the brain wave receptor at the base of his neck. The tiny machine that heightened the psychic connection between blood family members had been filling his head with the concerned buzz of his father and closest brother, his other three brothers’ psychic presences were utterly silent. His father and Makalaurë were doing their best to restrain the background noise of their questioning concern, but at feeling the sudden spike of joy, their buzzing intensified, and even his middle three brothers joined in.

 “I should ask you the same question….” Nelyo said, ignoring them, “How are you, commander? And Anairë?”  
Nolofinwë’s face grew somber, “I am… managing. It’s only been two days, but I’m taking each day as they come. My children…” He sighs, “Irissë and Turukáno, neither have ever excelled at coping with loss, and I worry for them. Especially given the circumstance that they were with him when he died. And neither will open up to me.”  
“But yourself?”  
“I am managing.” He repeated, “And Anairë has found comfort and empathy in Earwen.”  
Nelyo’s eyes widen, “I had forgotten…” He murmured. Arafinwë and his wife had lost their eldest son many years ago, when the boy was only two. Nolofinwë sighed, “It is a comfort, in a way…. Having your brother know the darkness you’re under. Sharing grief no parent should ever experience.”  
At that moment, Nolo’s words were cut off by the emergency alarm blaring, the hallways dyed red by the flashing lights.  
“What on Arda!?” Nolofinwë murmured, lumbering too his feet, Nelyo shooting up alongside him. Together they darted out, into a main hallway, hurrying in the direction of central command.  
“What’s happening?! Do you know!?” Nelyo demanded from an engineer apprentice hurrying in the opposite direction.

“Something- I don’t know!” She said breathlessly, “Something is… _materializing_ , in the hangar. We’re being evacuated.”  
Nelyo and Nolofinwë, both forgetting their temporary leave statuses, brushed past her, the hangar only a few more feet away, and together they burst through the doors, greeted by gusts of air, and a sound like machine’s scraping together.

“What the hell?!” Nelyo murmurs hurrying up to stand alongside two of his brothers and father, Curvo and Fëanáro doing maintenance work, Tyelko hanging about them.

The gathered pilots and engineers with combat training who hadn’t evacuated, watched in wary awe as a ship of some sort flashed in and out of view, the length of time the ship was visible between flashes grew steadier and longer.  
“I don’t know.” Tyelko growls out.  
Curvo wordlessly pulled a spare gun from his hip, and handed it to Nelyo, who switched it on. Nelyo, his brothers, father and the rest of the assembled equipped with a weapon took on a defensive position. Finally, the ship, a relatively small thing, finished materializing, the wind dying down and the sound disappearing. Their hearts hammered in their chests in suspense, when, finally, a door opened, and, to the shock and disbelief of all gathered, a head popped out.

Findekano’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to clear up any confusion- i cut argon out of this particular au, and aegnor and angrod wont be making appearances either. too many excess siblings that i didn't know what to do with!  
> this is my first ever fic publication! i've been writing fic for years, but i've never published, because the degree to which i'm critical of myself and my work is severe. as for this fic, i wanted to publish it all at once, but i knew if i didn't get *something* out there when i was feeling on a roll, this one might never see the light of day either. that being said, i already have a good chunk of chapter 2 written, and the rest of the fic is mostly planned out, so updates should be regular.  
> thanks for reading, please leave feedback <3


	2. youth's a stuff will not endure

Findekáno’s eyes blinked open, only to shutter back closed again, with a moan.

Everything was pain. A sore kind of pain, in his entire body. It was a feeling like when you had worked out too hard, muscles stretched past their breaking point, except… Every single part of him felt like it. It felt like that on almost a cellular level. Maybe even an atomic one. If Maitimo were here, he would sigh and tell Finn he was being dramatic and silly.  
  


“Oh! You’re awake!” A voice Findekáno did not recognize, exclaimed.  
Findekáno squinted his eyes open again, trying to process where he was, and recall the events leading up to this point, the Maitimo in his head was lecturing him on being more alert and warier in a situation like this, telling him for the millionth time he has ‘no survival instincts’. He really was never sure where Maitimo developed the survivalist mentality he had in abundance.

Findekáno pulled himself up into a sitting position, struggling against the pain and looked around. He was in…. To be honest, Findekáno had no idea WHAT he was in, it seemed like a small engineering room, of some kind, but there was a window looking out into space, in front of what could be a (rather strange) control panel for a ship of some kind. A body came, suddenly, to fill the space in Findekáno’s direct line of vision.

“How do you feel?!” The person sitting in front of Findekáno was… an elf, like him, it seemed. But somehow different in a way that Findekáno could not quite pinpoint. The slight pressure he felt at the back of his neck told him the difference was metaphysical. The psychic receptors didn’t just enhance their psychic bonds with family, they also honed their metaphysical senses as a whole.

The reminded awareness of his psychic receptor sparked his memories, and everything leading up to this moment rushed back to him.

“Oh my god! I was sucked out in to space!” He exclaimed. “Irissë.... Turnoooo….” He groaned, now remembering the look on his brother’s face as he was sucked out. Feeling the horror and fear and his wordless  _begging_ Findekano not to do it radiating out from Turukáno’s mind. “My parents, my FIANCE! Eru, they’re all going to think I’m dead. Oh my god, how long has it been? Who are you? Where am I? Wait, _am_ I dead?”

The strange elf, sighed, pulling out a long, pocket sized cylindrical machine that had a laser light on the end, and begin waving it slowly all over Findekáno’s head area. He was tall, though he was sitting down, Findekáno could tell; with a head of golden curls falling down his back, and light, golden brown skin. He had warm eyes, a light cerulean blue and an easygoing smile. They reminded him of Findekáno’s aunt Earwen’s eyes. What a strange thought.  
“Not really sure how long it’s been, for us, exactly, time works differently for me, and is irrelevant to the greater space-time continuum. As for where you are, you are in my ship, and my name is Nòm. Now how do you feel? Your vitals look fine.”

“Pain, sore all over, everywhere. Even my atoms hurt. And what do you mean by irrelevant to the space time continuum? You’re not crazy, are you? And, you know come to think of it, how the fuck am alive? People don’t just get thrown out in to the vacuum and survive. I don’t know how long I was out there, but I think _too_ long for me to have been healable.”

The elf- Nòm- began to laugh, “My ship was malfunctioning, and I ended up materializing right where you happened to be floating. I pulled you in. You ask a lot of questions, by the way, and do so quite rapidly.”  
“Oh. Sorry.“ Findekáno’s haltered, blinking, squinting, there were two things he was trying to process in that statement. 

“Don’t be.” Nóm laughed, “It is good to ask questions, I like questions, and I like people with manic energy, personally. But I think your current mania is likely more to do with the adrenaline of your body healing from a trauma most people don’t survive, I think. And being thrust through the time vortex for the first time.”

Findekano blinked at Nòm. He sat there, open mouthed staring at him for quite a number of moments before saying, “What the ever loving, actual **_fuck_** are you talking about?”

The elf laughed, “What century are you from?”  
“I. What?”  
“What century?”  
“Th…. The 67th…?”  
“Oh, good century!” The elf said, cheerfully, standing up, “Love the 6,000s, relatively quiet time, that century especially, so much exploration and pioneering and so little war.”  
“What….” Findekáno’s eyes were furrowed in skeptical disbelief, “are you talking about?!”  
“I’m a time traveler.” He said with a smile, “It’s nice to meet you.”  
“Time traveler?!”  
  


 

───── ✩ ─────

 

 

Nelyo lowered his weapon in disbelief, the world around him seemed to have been muted and cut off, as if it were now on the other side of a glass wall, and the only thing on his side of the wall was himself and Findekáno. The wary, inquisitive look on Findekáno’s face had deteriorated as he locked eyes with Nelyo’s, and Findekáno’s bright, glorious smile burst forth in its place. Nelyo’s heart seemed to shatter into countless, joyous pieces, the radiance of Findekáno’s joyful face was a thousand fold brighter and more glorious than the sunrise he had just been watching. It was almost blinding.

Stepping the rest of the way out of the ship, Findekáno exclaimed, “Maitimo!”  
Something in Nelyo snapped, and the shattered pieces of his heart seemed to yank back together again, suddenly, returned to the cold lump it had been for two days, surrounded by the iron wall he kept around it,save for a select, privileged few allowed inside, and he jerked his weapon back up to full offensive position, causing Findekáno's smile to shatter.

His fiancé was dead. He didn’t know who this person was, or what it was, but his fiancé was dead. 

 

───── ✩ ─────

 

 

“TIME travel!” Findekano exclaimed, poking at the strange buttons and levers on the ship’s control panel.  
“Time travel.” Nòm answered, solemnly, but seemingly only barely repressing a smile.

Findekáno whistled, running his hand over the control panel. It was a strange thing, the readings and measurement equipment was reporting in only strange shapes and patterns. There was nothing even vaguely resembling steering, and the endless buttons, and levers and thingamajigs, for lack of a better word, were all manual, no touch screens, and seemed almost somewhat childish.

 “So what the hell was a time traveler doing in some asteroid field in the middle of nowhere in an uneventful century?”  Findekáno inquired.

Nòm shrugged, “Dunno, there were weird energy readings coming from that region, in that year,” he explained, leaning against the control panel, “I was going to check it out. You see, our universe is a wild, chaotic beast, it’s always in flux, devouring itself and spitting out new stuff, and as the organisms it’s created grow and develop new things and new technologies and new ways of controlling the chaos around them, things get…. Wibbly.”  
“Wibbly.” Findekáno repeated.  
Nòm nodded. “Wibbly. I come from a group of individuals who use our technology to track down disturbances in the fabric of space-time and see that it all gets sorted out.”

"Awesome.” Findekáno says, “That’s really cool, but you’re saying there’s something wrong with…” Findekáno tried to wrap his head around it, “Space-time itself during my time? That asteroid field is really close to home, for me, are the people I love in danger? Is that why I’m not dead?”  
Nòmm laughed, “No, you’re not dead because I have super advanced healing technology on board. You were only in space for, oh, a minute and a half at most, before I found you. We just had to sort out all our blood vessels and deflate your organs and you were good to go. As for the issue space-time where you’re from,” Nòm turned around, and flicked a switch, a screen suddenly appearing and flashing the symbols and numbers Findekáno wasn’t familiar with.  
“It seems…. Natural. Some areas of space-time are just particularly nebulous. They’re fuzzier than others, there are more cracks and overlaps. It appears that’s what’s going on.”

Turning back to smile at Findekáno he added, “It makes weird things happen, for the people living in that place, in that time period, things get wibbly, and sometimes certain things fall through the cracks, both in and out, but there’s no overall danger.”

“Oh good!” Findekáno says, cheerfully, “Awesome, well, can you get me back home? I’m getting married tomorrow…..  Or, married tomorrow at the time you found me. And I really, really, really don’t want my loved ones thinking I’m dead for too long. Can you get me back to where I need to be? Preferably as soon after you found me as possible?”  
  
Nom’s face fell, “Er, about that Findekáno.” Having turned back to face the screen he made appear. “My ship can’t navigate that area very well… Because of how nebulous it is. It would be choppy, and there’s no guarantee I can get you back where you need to go. Remember what I said about falling through the cracks? That’s really more what happened to me, than anything, and it was a doozy getting back out.”

“What are you trying to say?” Findekáno asked, feeling suddenly nervous.

Nòm gave him a tight look, “I can get you home….. but the best I can do that would get you where you want to be with definite certainty would be 10 years down the way.”

“10 years?! 10 YEARS?!” Findekáno cried out. He can’t, he _can’t_ , do that to his family. To himself. To Maitimo. Oh god, ten years from now, Maitimo could have found another person, could have remarried. Or married, since they technically never did get married. And he would probably be another person entirely, someone Findekáno did not know, aged waaaay past Findekáno, and probably moved on. Fallen out of love with him."  
  
“I’m sorry.” Nòm says, seeming truly distraught. 

“You can’t take me to- to somewhere else during that year?" Findekáno scrambled, frantically, "Or closer to that year? If I can at least get in that year I can borrow a ship, or something, and get home.”  
Nòm turned back to his screen, looking weary, “No…. My ship, the way it works…. Even getting close to that patch of space-time would be difficult. It’s that whole year that’s a problem, regardless of distance. Whole decade, really. I got lucky when I found you, like I said I wasn’t even doing it on purpose, it’s more like I fell through a crack. That’s likely what will happen if we try to navigate close to there. We’ll keep falling through cracks in space-time, end up places we don’t want to be. I can try to navigate to the time and place I found you…. But we might just keep falling through holes. One of those holes might lead home but…. I don’t know, to be honest with you.”  
“But we can try?” Findekáno asked, and Nòm turned to smile, sadly, at Findekáno.

“We can try, but it might take a long time, seriously. It might take years. But we can keep trying. How determined and persistent are you, by nature?”  
“Extremely so.” Findekáno said with a wicked grin, "I get it from my dad. Drives my fiancé nuts.”  
“Then lets try” Nòm grins back, and Findekáno felt a sudden spike in his psychic receptor, a warm, exhilarating feeling, like the kind he got when he and one of his siblings, or his cousin Artanis were about to be co-conspirators or participants in some kind of fun or exciting adventure or plot. Findekáno wrote it off, he had no family around. It was likely glitching.

“If I let you take me ten years into the future,” Findekano explained, rubbing the back of his neck, "I’ll have let my family think I’m dead for ten years, just for my own personal immediate gratification…. I lost a little cousin, Nòm, when I was six. I don’t remember it much, but I know the impact it had on my aunt and uncle, and our whole family. I can’t do that to them. And also, if I let you take me ten years into the future…. I don’t know how everything will have changed, if I’ll even recognize them. Their lives will have gone on without me…. I’d rather spend 20 of my own years trying to get back to where I left off, instead of jumping ahead.”

“Alright, then,” Nòm says, smiling, and grabbing a lever, as Findekano smiled back, heart beating and his glitchy receptor spiking with that same feeling, again. “We have a wedding to get to, then.”

 

───── ✩ ─────

Findekano’s heart feels shattered. Staring down the barrel of a gun is never a fun experience, but staring down the barrel of a gun aimed at you by your fiancé is…. Something else. Heart in his stomach, Findekáno glanced around, taking in the hangar. His fiancé’s wasn’t the only gun aimed at him. Two of his would-be brothers in law, his would be father in law and his cousin had guns trained on him, on top of at least a dozen other members of the corps; and Findekano could see his father standing there, in a stance that was his purest space-station-commander mode, but his eyes, and his clothing for that matter, betrayed something much more vulnerable and emotional.

Findekáno swallowed, putting his hands up, “It’s me, please don’t shoot.”

“Are you fucking kidding?!” Tyelkormo spits out. “You expect us to fall for that?!”

“Findekáno died. Two days ago.” Curufinwë says, calmly, coldly, in that factual, contemptuous tone Findekáno has always despised. “Findekáno died, two days ago, under mysterious circumstances, his body lost. Now you show up on our door step, in a mystery ship, with technology we don’t recognize, claiming to be Findekáno. see how that might be a little suspect.”  
  


“Two days…” Findekáno murmured, eyes widening, distressed. They had been aiming for the same day, or, at least, the next day.

“Oh dear.” Nòm says, appearing behind Findekáno in the door way, from where he’d been hovering inside his ship, and Findekáno felt the attention of everyone else in the hangar snap even more wire tight. “I’m so sorry, Finno, it looks like we over shot just a little bit.”

“Who are you?” Artanis demanded, suddenly, with a snap, causing everyone to jump. It was a question _everyone_ was thinking, in that same tone, really, but Artanis was quiet person. She carried herself with calm, commanding grace, and it was unlike her to snap, or draw attention to herself in a situation like this. 

Nòm put his hands up, calmly, too, seemingly unperturbed by the dozen and a half guns being aimed at him, “My name is Nòm, I’m a traveler, I rescued Findekano, and helped bring him back to you.”  
  


 Findekáno had stopped paying attention to the rest, though, his eyes having turned back to his fiancé, who’s own eyes had never left Findekáno’s even at the emergence of Nòm. Findekáno stepped forward, slowly, hands still raised, eyes fixed on Maitimo’s, walking towards him until he was just inches away from the barrel. Taking a shaky breath, he side stepped it. Much to his relief, Maitimo let him. He didn’t lower the gun, but he let him move forward; his eyes seemingly fixed on Findekano’s as if in a trance.

“Maitimo, what are you doing?!” Tyelkormo hissed.  
Everyone’s guns were still turned on Nòm, but Fëanáro and his two present sons had them trained on Findekáno, protective of their son and brother.

Hands still up, though a little more half-heartedly, Findekáno finally made it so that he was chest to chest with Maitimo, so close to his fiancé, he could breathe him in, his smell sweet and so, so comforting after a year gone.

It had been a year for him. For he and Nòm. A year since Findekano had been flung out in to void, and began his journey through time and space to get home. He supposed he should be grateful that it had only been 2 days for his friends and family, for the to think that he was dead, he should have known by now after a year of realizing just how hard it was to get home to his porous little pocket in time and space, but it still hurt. It hurt having tried desperately for a year to get home to his loved ones (and oh, it had been so long for him) to arrive and have guns pointed at him, mistrust rife on their faces, hurt.

Findekáno knew he should turn to his father first, with his psychic receptor, he would be able to confirm that Findekáno was who he said he was. Findekáno’s receptor had long since died in the year away from home, but the psychic bond between father and child, and Nolofinwē’s receptor alone should be enough to tell at least that Findekáno was his son, but Findekano couldn’t take his eyes off of Maitimo, his lifelong best friend, his fiance. Findekano had never seen Maitimo’s eyes closed off and emotionless. He knew most everyone else had, but Findekano never had, it ached.

There were bags under his eyes, and it made Finno’s heart hurt. He seemed exhausted, his beauty, somehow, diminished slightly and his skin was somewhat sallow, his hair lank and nappy.

Findekano was aware of Tyelko and Curvo practically _vibrating_ with tension on either side of them, and Captain Fëanáro’s eyes bored in to him, guns at the ready for the slightest hint Finno meant danger to their Russo. Findekáno took a deep, shuddering breath and raised his hands to cup Maitimo’s face, and, still, Maitimo did not move, did not react.

There was a ringing in Findekáno's ears, now, the effect of touching Maitimo after so long apart, but over it Findekáno could hear his father shout, suddenly, as if roused from a trance, “Wait! Stop! Everyone put your gun’s down, that’s my _SON_.”

Unphased, unable to focus on anything but the soft, grey green eyes looking at him, wide, and those lips, with the three little scars cutting through them, Findekano raised himself up on his tiptoes, whispering, “It’s me, love, it’s really me,” Before pressing his lips up into Maitimo’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> discovered, much to my delight, that healable is, in fact, a word. you know that feeling you get, when you type a word out, knowing it's almost certainly not in the dictionary, but the small glimmer of hope tells you to try anyway? and then it is? it's truly a wonderful, uniquely anglophone specific phenomenon. anyways, thank you for reading, again! i'd love to hear your thoughts again. things will start being revealed more clearly soon, i promise.


	3. trip no further

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes about quenya  
> \- atto: the informal form of father, ie dad  
> \- atar: father  
> \- astaldo: valiant. this is my personal headcanon for findekano's mother name. or in this case, personal name.  
> \- ingalaurë: narfin's mother name

Findekano pressed his lips into his fiancé's, uncertain of how Maitimo was going to react. To Findekáno’s great joy, Maitimo leaned into the kiss almost instantaneously. Findekáno felt all the tension drain out of his shoulders, and he relaxed a bit, lowering his feet down, almost to the floor, knowing Maitimo would bend down after him, even as he did, his gun clattering to the floor and Maitimo’s arms coming up to surround him. Maitimo’s arms were so long, and they encircled Findekáno easily, prompting Finno to melt into him, and for Maitimo, in turn, to melt into Findekano’s arms, which were as strong and powerful as Maitimo’s were long. The kiss was deep and passionate, but by no mean hot or intense. It was pure love, expressed as best it can be through physical bodies. It was a non-verbal way of saying, ‘I love you, it’s you, it’s me, I’m so glad you’re here, you’re real, you’re in my arms.’

Time seemed to have stopped for them, (though time had been very abstract for Findekáno for the past year, anyway) but Findekáno could hear jostling and talking behind them, his father’s voice standing out, murmuring to Fëanáro, “It’s him, Curufinwë, I swear it, I know my son, as you would know any of yours.”  
“Just because it’s your son doesn’t mean he’s not still a danger.” Fëanáro murmured back.

Both Findekáno and Maitimo finally parted, lingering only for a moment to stare deeply into each other’s eyes. The psychic connection between non-blood relatives was weaker, but the receptors heightened all senses, including the feelings of others, particularly those you share a close, emotional bond with. Findekáno could barely feel anything from Maitimo, lacking his receptor, but he tried his best to bend his feelings of intense love and gladness towards Maitimo’s, before they both turned to face their fathers, and all the rest.  
“Atto….” Findekáno said, tears shining in his eyes as he left Maitimo’s arms, reluctant to give him up, but still eager to fall in to his father’s.

“ _Astaldo_ ,” His father, Nolofinwë murmured, voice full of emotion, “My son, I don’t know how this can be, but my heart is so glad.”  
“I’ve missed you so much, Atto,” Findekáno said, his voice almost breaking. 

“What do you mean by that, Atar?” Maitimo asked, voice a little breathless, in response to Fëanáro's comment.

Turning to face them, Findekáno saw that Fëanáro had positioned himself, discreetly, between, Findekáno and his son, his eyes sharp, critical of Findekáno in Nolofinwë’s arms.  
“I mean…” Fëanáro said, in that threateningly soft voice that didn’t need volume to command a room, “Findekáno has turned up here, after having been confirmed dead by his brother and sister, claiming he was rescued from a very impossible situation. His supposed rescuer has, quite literally, materialized in our hangar, completely subverting our defense mechanisms, using technology we do not understand. I am simply stating that we need to wade into this cautiously.”  
“Are you suggesting we throw my son in prison, Curufinwë?” Nolofinwë asked, dangerously.  
“Atar….” Maitimo said, sharply.  
“No, but I am the acting commander at the moment-“  
“You share command with my brother. If you want to make decisions like that, we can call for him.”

“Oh, please, I’m no danger to you!!” Nòm said, loudly, and all present parties turned to him.  
He was standing, remarkably relaxed and seemed almost cheerful, despite Artanis’ and Tyelkormo’s guns trained on him. They were the only ones with their guns still up, having taken it upon themselves to informally take him prisoner whilst everyone’s attentions were trained on Findekáno. Despite Curufin’s gun being tucked back in its holster, his hand was still on it, and he was standing close to his brother, seeming to analyze Findekáno almost as an extension of his father’s mind. Even if Curufin preferred not to be called by his proper name, even off duty, Atarinkë was a well warranted name.

Now that he had the room’s attention, Nòm continued, “And Findekáno certainly isn't. Really, I’m just a humble traveler, but if it makes you feel better, clap me in irons and take me down to the hold, maties, do what you want with me, if it puts you at a peace of mind for the time and you let Findekáno be. He’s missed you lot, and his home. He’s been trying so hard to get back to you for so long.”  
Tyelkormo snorted, derisively. “It’s been two days.”  
“It hasn’t.” Findekáno said, “Not for me. It’s been a year for me. That ship’s a time machine.”  
Silence. Dead silence. Findekáno looked at his father, blinking in surprise. Then to his fiancé, who’s eyes were blown wide in shock and concern.  
“Oh my god. Holy shit. He’s lost his mind.” Tyelkormo snorted, in disbelief, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of glee.

───── ✩ ─────

“Ah habn loss m’mind!” Findekáno said, in frustration. He was sitting on a med ward bed, now, despite a lot of arguing and indignation, Nòm had been taken to a holding room (they don’t actually have a prison, much to Nòm’s delight), monitored and guarded, and Findekáno was taken to the med ward, to be intensely examined.

 

At the moment, another one of his almost-brother-in-laws had his thumb pressed down, hard, on his tongue, with a light shoved down the back of his throat.  
  


“Not my thing to worry about.” Carnistir said, flatly and unconcerned, “I’m just making sure there’s nothing physically wrong with you.”

“Liar, I know they’re having you check for mind control and mental inconsistencies. Or insanity. I know you have ways of telling. I wasn’t talking to you anyway.”

Carnistir ignored him, moving to check other areas and vitals. His mother, a nurse, was also hovering around, worriedly, existing somewhere between being his mother and being a nurse, flicking through all the vitals the machines were reporting back, still teary eyed. 

On one side of him, his fiancé sat with one hand gently on his back, and another loosely holding his hand. On the other side, his sister, fiercer, was sitting with her hands clamped down hard on his wrists, leaned in to him protectively. Both were facing out towards the room, where stood Findekáno’s uncle and current Acting Commander Arafinwë, Findekáno’s brother, his father, and his fiancé’s brother, Makalaurë. The latter was standing with his back to the wall, discreet and quiet amongst the myriad of more commanding presences, debating the situation hotly. Findekáno felt wary- he couldn’t tell whether he was there as emotional support for his favorite brother, or as a spy for his father. 

“I _haven’t_ lost my mind.” Findekano said, again, insistently, to all the room at large.  
“No one is saying you’ve lost your mind, love.” Maitimo replied, softly, reassuringly.  
“Yes they are,” Findekano retorted, indignantly, “And if they aren’t, they’re thinking it, or that I’m being mind controlled. And don’t talk to me in that tone of voice. I’m not a child, or mentally unstable.”  
“We don’t think you’ve lost your mind, Findekáno.” His father said grimly.

“This is just a very bizarre and concerning situation, young one,” his uncle said, hurriedly, soothingly, “We want to make sure that you, and everyone on this station is safe. Findekáno, you are a smart elf, nephew, surely you can understand why we are wary.”

He could. Findekáno really could, he _was_ a very smart elf, and he knew that he would probably react the same way as them, if the situation was reversed, but he was also unreasonable and stubbornly principled, so he was still going to give them hell for this.

“Yeah, yes, I can, but, listen, put a new fucking psy-receptor on my neck, _please_. Then you’ll all know that I’m, not only mentally sound, but I’m also telling the truth. It’s only been two days for you guys,” he said, eyes sweeping specifically over his parents and siblings, “Surely you can’t have forgotten my baseline mental state.”  
“You can’t just install a psy-receptor in to someone.” Carnistir said, annoyedly, pulling back from his examinations to narrow his eyes at him. “You know that, you’ve had it installed before. It takes some doing and your dead one needs to be uninstalled, anyway, and we need to make sure your body and mind are in the right state to do so. We’re injecting technology into your nervous system.”  
“Be patient, my darling,” his mother said, soothingly, “It will be fine, you are taken care of, we will get around to it.”  
“But you’ve confirmed it’s me, right?! You’re sure it’s me and you can handle me? Then at the very least, let him go. Let Nòm go. I was hoping, I had hoped… He’s become like family to me, this past year-“ again, there’s that worried look they all share when he says something unbelievable, “- I was hoping he could stay for a while and be welcome here, but he’s a wanderer, he has a wanderers heart and he doesn’t like to be trapped in one place for too long. He doesn’t deserve this for being kind to me and wasting a year of his life trying to get me home.”  
  


There was quiet in the room. He could tell both his father and his uncle were inclined to acquiesce this. They couldn’t see the harm.  
“Atto, Uncle, please, you have the power.”  
Nolofinwë sighed, “I do not, Findekáno, we’ve established this. I am stepped down.”  
“Well step back up! I’m alive! You don’t need bereavement leave anymore.”  
“It’s not that simple, Findekáno, I can’t just seize power back, whenever I please! There are processes to protect the integrity of our power structure. And I do not wish to return to command anyway. Our family is recovering from a great trauma, I wish to continue recovering with you.”  
“Uncle-“ Findekáno turned, now to Arafinwë.

“I share joint command with Captain Curufinwë, Finno,” He said wearily, before Findekáno could say anything himself. “Nelyafinwë is the only other person on the station with the training to take singular command, and he is relieved from duties as well. Curufinwë and I share command and I assure you…. He will not let him go easily.”  
Findekáno turned to glare at his fiancé, pointedly, as if it’s somehow his fault his father is ridiculous. Maitimo did, at least, look a little guilty. “I’m sorry, Finno, I have no power, right now. And my father seldom listens to me even when we are officially equal in station.”

Findekáno turned back to his uncle. “Uncle Ingalaurë…”  
“I will speak with him, Findekáno.” Arafinwë said, “But I must say…. I would like to speak to this Nòm also. I am concerned about his psychic abilities, the fact that he can affect our psychic receptors is concerning, to say the least. Especially since you spent a year with him.”  
Nolofinwë’s eyebrows folded, “What are you talking about, Ingalaurë?”  
It was Arafinwë’s turn to look perplexed, “Did you not experience a psychic connection with him, a well? In the brief moments I saw him I could feel his minds presence. Artanis, too, expressed that she experienced something.”  
“I did not.” Nolofinwë said, concern growing deeper.  
“Nor I,” said Maitimo, warily, hand tightening slightly in Findekáno’s.  
“To be fair,” Makalaurë said, suddenly, from his place in the corner of the room, “From what Tyelko told me, you spent most of the time with your tongue down Findekáno’s throat.”  
Turukano snorted, loudly, and Maitimo sighed, “Don’t believe most of what Tyelko tells you. About anything.”   
“Most of the time he spent with his gun in my face, actually,” Findekáno aded, matter-of-factly, and Maitimo flinched, just a little bit.  
“But the point stands,” Nolofinwë continued, “I was overwhelmed by the psychic sensory experience of having my dead son in front of me, and Maitimo, I think, was overwhelmed by adrenaline. We very easily could have missed it.”  
“Indeed,” Arafinwë affirmed.

Turning to his other nephew he said, “Turukáno, would you mind going down to the hangar to assist and make sure Curufinwë, both of them, are not, er, over stepping, in the assessment of Nòm’s ship. Irissë, my dear-“  
“Aredhel, Uncle.” She reminded him, having only recently officially joined the ranks of the corps, and was rather finnicky about the use of her personal name.  
“Aredhel,” Her uncle said, a smile on his face now. “Go down to where Nòm is being held, and make sure Turcafinwë is not being too hard on him.”  
“YOU LET TYELKORMO BE IN CHARGE OF HIM?!” Findekáno shouted, outraged, only to be ignored.

“I will be down to speak with Nòm shortly, and then I will find Fëanáro, I suppose.”   
“I would like to have someone speak with all others who were in the hangar to see if they felt an influence on their receptors.” Nolofinwë put in, the commander instinct irrepressible in him.  
“Aye, I agree. Kanafinwë, if you would?” Arafinwë, asked softly. “Find Artanis, I would have the two of you see to those inquiries. Speak to your brothers and father, as well, when you’ve done the rest.”  
“Yes, Captain,” Makalaurë said, pushing off the wall and moving to leave. He stopped on the way out to kiss the crown of his brother’s head, and Maitimo gave him a thankful, loving look, quickly. The look was loaded in a way that told Findekáno they were sharing something between their receptors, and Findekáno was frustrated he didn’t have his, they were close enough that Findekáno probably could have gotten the gist of it, with its help.

Makalaurë left then, and Findekáno’s brother followed soon after, squeezing his brother’s knee on the way out, giving him a look of deep gladness to see him again. As soon as Findekáno had his receptor back, he would take some time to heal his family through their psychic link. Irissë followed quickly, and with the room cleared out Carnistir growled, “Finally. Alright, Findekáno, I’m taking out the dead receptor. Then you’re going to heal, for a few days, and we’ll consider getting a new one installed.”  
Findekano opened his mouth to protest, that he’d had a whole YEAR to heal, but Carnistir cut him off with a snap. “To heal from the process of taking your dead psy-receptor off! For the love of Arda.” Carnistir yanked an ugly looking tool out of a drawer, “Russo. Hold him down. He’s lost pain suppressant privileges for being obnoxious.”

 

───── ✩ ───── 

 

Findekáno flopped down on the bed, looking around with a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck, then turned to look back at Maitimo, “You didn’t move in to our apartment.”  
Maitimo huffed a laugh of disbelief, from where he was leaning against the door, watching Findekáno in soft, fond wonder.

“Why would I have? We weren’t married.”  
“It was our apartment, though, Russo.” Findekáno, murmured, leaning towards Maitimo, slightly, reaching for him. “We moved all our shit in there, it was all ready for us. Look at this room, it’s empty. It looks like standard issue when someone first gets assigned to a room. My room looks the same, I’m sure.”  
Maitimo sighed, pinching his nose, not going to Findekáno. It was true, when Findekáno was sent on that fateful mission, Maitimo had been finishing up the moving out process.  
“You’ve only been gone 2 days, Finno. I wasn’t really thinking about the decorative status of my room or what I was going to do moving forward, as a not quite widower. No one’s ever died the day before their wedding day.” Maitimo shrugged. “No one was really sure what to do, we didn’t even know how to hold your funerary services let alone what to do with…. All the things prepared for you, and me, in our marriage life. It’s been an administrative nightmare and, like I said… It’s only been two days.”

He blinked at Findekáno, open mouthed and helpless for a couple of moments. “Findekáno, we thought you were dead. I slept literally all day, yesterday, Finno.”  
  


“Maitimo…...” Findekáno said, sadly, then shifting into a slightly firmer tone, “Then stop standing in the door like a wraith. Get in to this fucking bed with me. You’ve spent the last 40 hours thinking I was dead, and I’ve spent the last year of my life missing you. Get in bed.”  
Maitimo moved towards the bed haltingly, hesitantly, “I… Finno,” he was wringing his fingers, slightly, nervously, his next words coming out a mere murmur, “I’m so afraid you’ll just disappear.”  
Findekáno stood up and grabbed Maitimo by the wrists, pulling him back down on top of him with a shared ‘oof!’

“Don’t be dumb,” Findekáno murmured against Maitimo’s lips, “I’m here, I’m flesh and blood.” Findekáno slid his hands up Maitimo’s side, to cup his face, lovingly. “Don’t you always scold me for being ridiculous?”  
Maitimo laughed, softly, “I think I’m allowed to be a little ridiculous, I’ve been through quite a bit, the past two days.” Findekáno arched up slightly to give Maitimo a kiss.  
“I’m sorry,” Findekáno said, eyes watering, his heart really, really hurt, “I wanted so badly to get back to you guys as quickly as possible. I didn’t want you to have to go through that.  
Maitimo sat up, pulling back, the magic of the moment diminished by the reminder of the reality. “Findekáno… You really. You were really- really time traveling?”  
Findekáno sat up, wrapping his arms around himself. “Yeah. Yes, I did.”  
“I… Findekáno. Just. How?”  
“Consider… how far our race has evolved, in just, what 4,000 years? And that’s only elves, before that, we were humans, and look how far they came in 2,000 years. From burning each other alive based on superstition and thinking meteors caused plagues, to taking to space and evolving into elves, into us. We’ve learned to manipulate space-time enough that we can bend it to travel through vast swaths of space, why is it so hard to believe that a day would come when we could manipulate space-time enough that we could travel back through time itself?”  
Maitimo pondered it for a while, “You’ve been spending too much time with my family, love. Making grand announcements like that.”  
Findekáno laughed, “No, I’ve been spending too much time with Nòm, he speaks a lot like your dad, except when he does it, its full of joy and optimism, not dramatic magnitude.”  
Maitimo’s face softened, an almost sad smile on his face, “You really love him, don’t you?”

Findekáno’s  heart fell, and his ears fell with it, flattening back against his head. “What?! Maitimo, God, no. No!” Findekáno scrambled forward, on to his knees, grabbing Maitimo’s hands, whose face had taken on an expression of surprise and bewilderment, “No, oh my god, we’re not like that. We never- oh my god no, he’s like a brother to me now, you’re the only person for me.” He kissed Maitimo’s knuckles, earnestly, “Forever.”  
Maitimo blinked a few more times, before bursting into loud, rolling, abdomen bruising laughter.

“Findekáno, oh my god, no, I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean it like that.” He moved to kiss all over Findekáno’s face. “I know that,” He landed a kiss on the tips of Finn’s ear, “I know we’re partners, I’d never doubt your love, our love for a second. I meant, you really love him like family.”  
“Oh,” Findekáno said, blushing. “Right. Yeah.”  
A shit eating grin suddenly appeared on Maitimo’s face, “Hmmm. A little suspicious though, that you jumped to that so immediately. And were so ardently defensive. Maybe I do have a reason to be concerned.”  
“Shut up, jerk.” Findekáno said, taking a swing at Maitimo with a pillow. "But yeah… I do. I do, Maitimo.” He said, crawling into his arms. 

“Maitimo, he’s done so much for me. Like I said… He spent, literally, a year of his life trying to get me home. It was hard, it was like shooting at a tiny target, blind, trying to get home. And he was patient and selfless. You believe me, right? You believe there’s no reason to- to. God” Findekáno said, frustration settling back over him again, “Why the fuck can’t they take my word for it? I’m not a child. I know it’s hard to believe, but when did we ever get so defensive or neurotic? He’s my friend and my rescuer and they have him sitting in a holding cell. With your most obnoxious brother down there, probably torturing him with his personality and making him wish they’d opted for physical torture instead.”  
Maitimo laughed, then settled. “I do believe you, Finno, I trust you. I can tell you’re very sound of mind.” He nuzzled and kissed his forehead. “You’re my Finno.”  
  


They sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds, before Maitimo broke it, “You’ve really been gone a year, Findekáno?”  
Findekáno’s grip on Maitimo tightened. “….. Yes. It’s been a year. It’s kind of strange to think about. I celebrated my birthday a couple weeks ago. I cried.”  
Maitimo laughed, “You cried?!”  
“Yeah,” Findekáno pulled back with a smile. “You know it had been such a long time away from home and I never,” something catches in his throat, emotion, “You know I never particularly thought of myself as super dependent on my family? Especially since, I know, everyone thinks of me as Mr. independent, I guess but I realized…. Everyone who grows up on this station, and especially the ones that become recruits and share psychic bonds, family is…” Findekáno trailed off, at a loss for words.

Maitimo cleared his throat. ”Fundamental.”

 

Maitimo grew up on this station, just like Findekáno, and both of them had their entire family enlisted, except, in Maitimo’s case, his mother and his two youngest brothers, the later of whom were intending to enlist once they were old enough.  
“I can’t imagine living a year without family. Without the everyday buzz of my father and my brothers' in my brain.”  
  


“Mmm… And on top of that it’s like…. When Nòm first found me, he told me that our… Our corner of space-time is really porous. It’s hard to get to, and he told me.” An unexpected tear spilled over, and Findekáno wiped it away in surprise, “He told me the easiest thing would be if I just let him take me to ten years from now.”  
  


“Ten years….?” Maitimo blinked, as if processing, and then he looked sick.  
“I know.” Findekano said, voice cracking. “I know, and it was like… I couldn’t do that, you know? If we did that I would… I didn’t know what I’d come back to, you know? I didn’t want to do that to you all, I couldn’t. I remember how much damage it did to my aunt and uncle when they lost Finderáto, I didn’t want to do that to my family, I’d do anything to make sure they, and you, wouldn’t have to hurt and suffer like that.”  
Maitimo leaned in, to give Findekáno a hard earnest kiss, trying to swallow down a smile long enough to give him a kiss, properly. “You are so valiant, you’re stupidly valiant, you wonderful, wonderful little elf. With your massive heart.”

“Oh shut up,” Findekáno said, kissing him back, “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same.”  
Maitimo hummed, noncommittally, and Findekáno shot him a glare, before his expression softened.  
  
"Besides… It wasn’t all selfless concern.” He murmured, “I was terrified of… Of coming back 10 years down the line and finding how much you’d all changed. Of having to face just how much I’d missed. I was terrified that everyone would have moved on without me.” Findekáno wasn’t sure whether to say it or not, but he did, “I was afraid you’d have moved on. I was afraid I’d come back, and you would be married to someone else, or fallen out of love with me.”  
Maitimo had to laugh, and it stabbed Findekáno’s heart, but Maitimo’s words were soothing, reassuring.  
“Findekáno, Jesus, 10 years is a long time, but not that long. And I’m very well aware that I’m not good at coping with loss, or emotions in general. I’m not saying that I could never love another person, or that I would never get married again, or never want to….. But I don’t think 10 years would be anywhere near enough time for me to be ready to….” He swallows, “’Move on’.”  
“You say that.” Findekáno said, skeptically.  
“I mean that. I’m not saying it to be romantic, or dramatic. I do want to get married, at some point in my life. I can’t fathom marrying anyone but you, but if I couldn’t have you… I’d still want companionship.”

Maitimo reached out for Findekano’s hands again, taking his wrists into both his hands. “But getting over your loss, trying to readjust to… to the idea of being romantic with anyone else. You’re not just my romantic partner, Finno, we’ve been best friends for so, unbelievably long. I’d want to marry, or re-marry, because I fully intend on marrying you as soon as possible, now, but…. God, it would take me a long time to get over your death.” He pressed their foreheads together, his firm, determined voice changing to something soft and gentle, almost reverent, “And I would never, ever, ever fall out of love with you. Even if I fell in love with someone else.”

A few more tears slid down Findekano’s eyes. “I missed you…. I missed you so much, Maitimo. I never want to go a whole year without you by my side again.”  
“You won’t. I swear to god, you won’t.”

Maitimo brought his hands up to cup Findekano’s face. “I will throw myself out into the vacuum if that’s what it takes to make sure you’re never alone again.”  
“Don’t do that,“ Findekáno laughed, pulling back. “You’ve been sounding like me, this whole time, Maitimo. I’m going to use this against you every time you ever call me ridiculous or sigh at my drama ever again.”  
“Oh, please do.” Maitimo said with a grin, “Please, Finno, if I ever, ever seem ungrateful for any tiny piece of you, give me hell for it. Though, I don’t think I’ll be complaining much for a very long time. I love you, I love you so so much and I want all your drama and ridiculousness.”  
He leaned in and kissed Findekano again, open and joyful and loving.

“Besides,” He said, pulling back, with a serene smile, “Once your father and I resume our positions, I’m sure he and I will be able to come to an agreement on never allowing you off the space station again.”  
“WHAT?! You two wouldn’t DARE.”  
Maitimo shrugged, “I just promised you we’d never be separated again, right? This is a perk of being engaged to the Military Division’s Captain and being the Station Commander’s son.”  
“Noooo….” Findekáno groaned, flopping back. “Maitimo, Maitimo, reassure me you’re joking.”  
“Actually, I’m not entirely sure whether I am or not. But take comfort in the fact that if your father _does_ opt to do it, he’ll probably include sanctions on your brother and sister too.”  
“I hate you. I hate you.”  
Maitimo grinned, crawling on to his hands and knees and up Findekano’s body kissing his slightly exposed tummy, up to his collar bone, feathering a kiss down on it, before hovering over him and kissing his lips.  
“I want to hear all about your adventures,” he murmured. “I want to know everything that happened in that year, Finno.”  
“Me too,” Findekáno murmured, raising his hand to stroke back Maitimo’s hair. “You know all of me’,” Findekáno murmured, reciting the little promise they’d made, had shared for as long as Findekáno could remember.  
“Partners, forever, the other half of me” Maitimo said, pulling back. “And you want Nòm to be set free, right?”  
“Yes.” Findekáno sat up, “He doesn’t deserve this, Maitimo.”  
“Right, then I’m going to go see to that. See what’s going on. See if we can’t smooth things out.”  
“I’m coming with you.”  
“No, Finno. You need to rest. You look exhausted, how long has it been since you slept?”  
Finno grumbled.  
Maitimo kissed his brow, “Trust me, I’ll take care of it, Finno.”  
“Okay,” Findekáno murmured, lowering himself back on to the pillows, and crawling under the covers. “Mmmmm, it smells like you.”  
Maitimo laughed, getting up and out of bed. “You’re so weird, Finn.”  
“Hey, if you’d been without me for a year, you’d miss my smell too.”  
Maitimo tapped on the button to open the door.  
“Hey, Maitimo?”  
“Yeah?”  
“If I had decided to jump ahead 10 years….. You’d have been a really, really hot 40-year-old.”  
Maitimo’s laughter, and the reassuring feeling of knowing he has an other-half who would always look out for him, and take care of his agenda, even when he couldn’t, carried Findekáno off to the most comfortable sleep he’d felt in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew... i'm sorry this update took a while. i reached a snag where i was struggling with the transition between the first two chapters and the real start of the narrative. but it's done finally! so updates should be more consistent from now on. as a side note, i came up with the id to use father names almost like last names and mother names like first names and thought it was genius, until i actually started writing it and thought there are a few characters that i'd feel weird using their mother names.... so there are a few characters who use their official names off duty too. alas.  
> thanks for reading, as always <3


	4. whats to come is still unsure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quenya:  
> \- seldoya: my child  
> \- selyëya: my daughter

For Nòm’s part, he wasn’t too upset about his current situation. The holding cell was quite comfortable. He wasn’t being mistreated (Nòm had been on quite a few military stations in his time, and most of the time prison cells were not pleasant), there was a lovely chair, it was well lit and it was clean. Nòm really did love the 6,000s. He loathed war and violence, and these 10 or so centuries were a time of peace, exploration and progress. His guards were two entry level officers, along the one they called Lt. Turcafinwë- Nòm was fairly certain this was Tyelkormo, one of Findekano’s fiance’s brothers. Findekano never used the official titles of anyone when they talked, and had told him he even had the bad tendency to fail to do so when on duty, which drove his father and fiancé. It’s one of the reasons they got on so well, Nòm thought, that free-wheeling (mostly subconscious) disregard for propriety and societal decorum. Over the course of the year, Findekano had told Nòm everything about his family, and Nòm didn’t mind. He loved hearing people talk about things that brought them joy, and he could tell talking about them brought Findekáno comfort. And Nòm had no real family of his own, so he was always thrilled to hear about others’ families; he had been eager to meet Findekano’s family. Findekáno, who had become like family to him.

Tyelkormo had been flitting in out, annoyed and frustrated, and Nòm had been having fun. It was quite easy and delightful to talk circles around him. It wasn’t that Tyelkormo was dumb, but he didn’t do wordplay well, and he got frustrated easily. It was certainly fun.  
Nòm was humming and swinging his ankles side to side, when the door opened. He looked up and found a girl had come in. She had a thick, heavy cloud of black, curly hair around her head and falling down her shoulders (braided out of her face with short, open ended corn rows) a pretty face and an easy-going smile. She exuded confidence and ease, and Nòm smiled. This certainly must be Findekano’s younger sister.  
“Hello,” Irissë said, sitting down across from him, Turcafinwë at her shoulder, looking disgruntled. “I’m Corporal Aredhel, you saved my brother’s life, correct?”  
“We don’t _know_ that, Irissë.”  
“I’m Aredhel, right now, Turcafinwë.” She said, stiffly.  
“Then that’s Lieutenant Turcafinwë to you, right now.” He grumbled.  
Irissë turned back to look at Nòm with a smile, “How are you feeling? Has Tyelko- the Lieutenant been treating you well?”  
“Quite fine!” Nòm said cheerfully. “Is Findekáno alright?”  
“Yes, he’s fine. He had a full checkup and now he’s with Captain Nelyo, in his room.”  
“Captain Nelyo… That’s Maitimo right?” Nòm asked, suddenly excited, knowing that Findekáno was with his Russandol, again.  
“Keep his name out of your mouth, that’s Nelyafinwë to you.”  
“Tyelko!” Irissë snapped.  
“Forgive me, Lieutenant.” Nòm said, with a serene smile. “I have only heard about him from Findekáno, who referred to him as Maitimo. I was simply confirming.”  
Tyelkormo glared at him, and Nòm smiled. He really was exactly how Findekáno described him.  
“Don’t listen to him, Nòm, anyway, I was wondering, do you have any psychic abilities?”  
Nòm cocked his head, frowning, “How do you mean?”  
“Well, my cousin, Artanis, said that she felt quite a bit of psychic feedback from you. My uncle said the same, though he was only with you very briefly.”  
“Really?” Nòm said, eyebrows raised. “Findekáno mentioned his psychic receptor fritzed often in my ship. I wonder if that’s what happened. I’m not sure what the technology on those delightful little things is, but the energy my ship uses is quite unique and bizarre, especially to your era. That may be the cause.”  
“Irissë, you’re not trained enough to do interrogation like this!!!” Tyelkormo hissed.  
“And you’re not smart enough, but that didn’t stop you. Besides, it's not an interrogation.”  
Tyelkormo opened his mouth to retort, when the door slid open, and in entered a tall, regal head of curly blond hair, and a somewhat weary looking face.  
Irissë stood up at attention, and Tyelko straightened up too, a little less earnestly.  
“Captain.” Irissë saluted.  
“Captain.” Tyelkormo echoed.  
The Captain, who Nòm has learned is Findekáno’s uncle, Arafinwë, and acting-commander, nodded at them, putting them at ease before turning to Nòm, looking in to his eyes, and his mouth opening slightly.  
He was blinking, as if there was something he could not fathom about Nòm. It Nòm uneasy.  
Arafinwë closed his mouth, and moved to take the chair Irissë had evacuated.  
“Nòm,” Arafinwë said, as he sank in to the chair, “It is good to meet you. I want to thank you for saving my nephew’s life.”  
“You needn’t thank me,” Nòm said, readjusting. Trying to pinpoint this unsettling feeling he got from Arafinwë, who’s presence was otherwise quite soothing. “I did what any decent person would do.”  
“But still…” He murmured.  
“Captain?” Aredhel asked, “I thought you were going to speak to Captain Fëanáro? He’s not here, so he has to be in the hangar.”  
“He is.” Arafinwë confirmed, “But I figured it would be better to speak to Nòm first, before I talked to him. Nòm,” He said, turning back to him, “I am curious, do you have any psychic abilities?”  
“Ah, Corporal Aredhel just asked me the same question. But alas, no. Though it is possible the energy my ship uses caused some malfunctions. I would love to look at the technology of your receptors.”  
“Mm.” Arafinwë acknowledged. “Forgive me, but you would understand why that is not admissible.”  
“Ah, yes,” Nòm said, a little sadly. “Understandable, yes.”  
“Allow me to ask you this, though. What is your race? And what era of time are you actually from? You seem to be an elf, as we are. Not particularly any different in the evolutionary progression than us.”  
“Mmmm, yes.” Nòm said, squirming. Not sure how much he should answer about who he was. But, he supposed, he had told Findekáno most everything, and he was likely to tell them anyway. “As far as I know, I am an elf. For you see, I come from an order of time travelers, of many races, that work to help heal and protect the fabric of the space time continuum.”  
Arafinwë’s eyebrows rose, “Ah, but you make it sound like you aren’t _certain_ you are elven in origin?”  
Nòm gave him a sad smile. “I cannot be. At least not based in how I was raised. My order is…. Originally it was begun, consciously, by an ancient race we call the Ainur, but the order is now made up, largely, of those of us who fell in to the space time continuum. You see,” Nòm traced his fingers over the table, “Cracks form, sometimes, and things fall through. And sometimes, the things that fall through the cracks are living creatures. I was one of them. I fell through the cracks when I was very young, far before I could remember. It’s not often living things fall through, and when they do, many times they die. But some of us get lucky, some of us fall in one crack and right out the other. Once you fall through a crack, there’s forever traces of the space-time continuum on you. Our order takes care to track biological anomalies that have traces of it on them, and rescue them. Recruit them, if they like.”  
Arafinwë blinked, squinting slightly. “I see. Did Findekáno… Fall through a crack?”  
“Oh, lord no,” Nòm laughed. “No, it was me who fell through a crack, as it were. Just _out_ of the space-time continuum. In my ship. As I’ve told Findekáno, this nook of space-time that you live in is particularly nebulous and porous, though it seems natural, that’s why it took us so long to get home. We kept…. Falling through cracks that led elsewhere, before we reached here. Though I must say, our little side adventures were rather fun.”

Arafinwë nodded, absentmindedly, murmuring, “Yes, I imagine Findekáno enjoyed things like that.”  
Turning to Tyelkormo and Irissë he asked, “Do either of you feel impacts on your receptors, being around him? Particularly since we are not near his ship.”  
Tyelkormo shook his head. “Nope.”  
Turning to look at Tyelko in surprise, “I do… Barely, but something.”  
Arafinwë’s eyebrows folded, but he made no comment.  
Nòm tilted his head too, thoughtfully.

Arafinwë turned back to him, gently resting his hand on Nòm’s, then jumping slightly, blinking in surprise, before fixing himself.  
“Right…. Nòm,” He said, meeting his eyes, “I do not believe you are a threat to us, I’m going to speak to my co-acting commander, right now, to try to convince him that we ought to let you go, or you may remain as our guest. Just give me some time.”  
“No rush,” Nòm smiled, “I would be delighted to be your guest for a while.”  
Arafinwë gave him a tight smile, as he stood. “Corporal Aredhel, Lieutenant Turcafinwë… I leave him in your care.”  
  


───── ✩ ─────

Artanis sat in a corner, legs folded, thinking. She had always been someone with especially high psychic abilities. From the moment her receptor was installed, it became clear that she was gifted, in that way. Her ability to connect with the minds of her parents, cousins and uncle was extraordinary, and her ability to connect with non-relatives far exceeded the standard, even when she didn’t know them. With her own family, she had, even, almost the ability to read their minds, and she could see images in their minds.

But that was something she had only experienced with her mother and father, and, occasionally, her cousins.

So why, when Nòm appeared, was she able to see flashes of images in her mind? Blurry images, of vague memories… Almost like a dream.

 

“Artanis?” A soft voice asked. Looking up, she saw Kanafinwë, standing and watching her in concern. How strange, she must truly be lost in her own thoughts to have not noticed his approach.  
She stood, “Kanafinwë? What is it?”  
“I spoke with your father,” he said, softly, “He asked me to go with you and inquire with the others in the hangar about whether they felt impacts on their psy-receptors.”  
“Oh,” Artanis said, pulling her communication pad off of her belt and tapping at it until she reached the recordings page, handing it to Kano, “I’ve already done that. And I’ve recorded them, so as not to make it seem like my own hearsay.”  
Kanafinwë took it, in surprise, then laughed, “Artanis…. You are something else.”  
She shrugged, “I was perturbed by what I experienced, I wanted to investigate it. I don’t like not knowing things.”  
“And? What did you find?”  
Artanis ran her hand up her arm uncomfortably. “No one else experienced anything.”

  
Kanafinwë gave her a look, the look was unreadable, but she intercepted the feelings coming from him- it was inquiry, with a little bit of concern.  
She sighed, taking back her communicator when he handed it to her, “Thus far, the only people who have experienced an influence on their receptors are my father and myself.”  
  


“And Irissë,” A mild voice said, coming up behind them. Artanis knew it was her father before she turned, before he even spoke.  
“Irissë has?” She asked, turning.  
“Yes,” He murmured. He was walking with his hands behind his back. “Only mildly though, she said. Not anywhere near as strong as what we’ve felt, my dear.” Coming up behind her, he placed his hand on her back.  
“And even then,” Kanafinwë murmured, “That still means the only people who’ve experienced something remain within one family, albeit and extended one.  
“Aye.” Arafinwë murmured, pensively.  
“What does it mean, Atto?” Artanis asked.  
“I know not, selyëya, though I feel things may become clearer soon… But, I have spoken with Nòm one on one. Looking in his eyes as we spoke. He tells the truth, it seems to me, of this I am certain. And in his eyes, I see a person of good heart and intent. I am going now to speak with Curufinwë now, to see to his release. I have invited him to stay as our guest, once I have secured his release, and I believe he will take me up on that. I feel that if we have Nòm free, and as a guest rather than a prisoner, he and Findekano together can share all they’ve known and experienced, and in doing so we would most likely find answers.”  
“I don’t think that is a good idea, Atto,” Artanis said, sharply.  
Her father turned to look at her, and faint words echo in to her head, _you do not like what you don’t understand, seldoya._

“If he stays a while, we can get to the bottom of this matter, and I am certain he is no danger. Embracing what we do not know instead of fearing it is the greatest key to advancement.” He said with a soft smile. “Now come. Would the two of you like to join me in going to speak to Captain Curufinwë?”  
“I am never eager to make a proposal to my father that I know he will not like.” Kanafinwë said, mildly, “But I will come if you ask, Captain.”  
“I do ask.” He said with a smile.

Nelyo wandered up, up from the military wing of the station, into the administrative wing. He had found his way to Nòm’s holding cell, but found an insubordinate little brother-slash-lieutenant insisting that he could not be let inside to see him, as he was off duty, indefinitely. Corporal Aredhel agreed. He knew it was a matter of Tyelkormo eagerly and giddily enjoying flexing authority over his older brother and commander, and Irissë was still too taken with any authority granted her at all to disagree, but Nelyo wasn’t too concerned. Irissë had told him that Arafinwë had been here, and spoken with Nòm, and was on his way to speak with Nelyo’s father to secure Nòm’s release. Nòm was in good hands, so Nelyo decided to make his way to the station library to do some… inquiries of his own.

───── ✩ ─────

Nelyo tapped the button to open the tall, stately doors of the library open, and felt a wash of comfort and familiarity flow over him. He adored the library, the soaring data storage shelves and soft dark atmosphere, illuminated by dim white lights and the shimmering green and blue lights of the book units. He had wanted to become a librarian, but he knew his father would never support it. Librarians were part of the administrative division, and it would be unbearable to Fëanáro to have one of his children anywhere outside of active duty branches.

 

Nelyo did not have to look far to find whom he was looking for. He found Andreth sitting at a desk, with one of the very rare, very few paper and ink books that still existed in this library, and, strolling up to her, he prompted her very quietly, and she turned up to smile at them.  
“Hello, Russandol.”  
“Hi, Andreth, how are you? I was wondering if you could help me with something…. Have you heard of the commotion that’s happened?”  
Andreth smiled, tilting her head. “Aye, gossip spreads quickly on this station, even to the quiet corner of my library, and this was certainly a very big splash…. I am glad for you, my friend.” She said, resting her thin hand on his. “What’s more…. Carnistir was down here, after he had seen Findekáno. Much I learned from him. He is rather loud.”  
“Carnistir was here? What was he doing down here?”  
Andreth’s soft smile widened, and she turned her head, pointedly, taking Nelyo’s eyes with her.  
“Ah,” Nelyo said, a grin growing on his face.

In a corner, Haleth sat. Her face was somber, as ever, and she was consumed in a book.  
“He is absolutely ridiculous around her.” Andreth said, repressing a giggle.  
“I know,” Nelyo, grinned.  
“But I think it cheers her up, in a way, though she’d never admit it. She doesn’t smile or anything, when does she ever, but she always seems to be more…. Energized after he’s seen her.”  
“I’m glad, then,” Nelyo said, softly. Haleth was a strange case. They had found her floating in space, unconscious, not too far from the station, in a space suit they didn’t recognize, with technology they didn’t recognize. When she woke, she had no memory of her life, except small fragments, and various knowledge and skills. She seemed to know a bit about medicine, so the medical division had been working to develop her. Nelyo frowned now, the circumstances of finding Haleth suddenly seemed to him all too similar to the situation with Nòm and Findekáno.

 

“Anyway, Andreth,” Nelyo turned back to her, shaking himself, “I was wondering if you could do a search for me. I want to know if we can find anything in our data bases about Nòm.”  
Andreth smiled. “Delightful. I love a good search.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry, these past few chapters have been dragging on like a mess of dialogue and plot building. i promise the action is going to pick up soon! thanks for your patience, this fic has already gotten way longer than tended. i have dialogue control issues. as ever i'm so grateful for every one fo you who's reading this! thanks <3


	5. o, stay and hear

“God!!” Findekáno said, flopping down on the bed that had become his these past few weeks, “This is really what your life is like, huh?! All the fucking time.”  
“Yeah,” Nòm said, with a smile, “It’s a bit much, and it can get a little lonely, but I love it.” 

Findekáno turned to him, with a wicked grin. It had been three, exhilarating weeks. Everytime they missed where they were trying to go, got pulled down a detour, or Nòm had to go check out some anomalies, Findekano got to go on an adventure that he and everyone he’s ever known could only ever DREAM of.

“You’re doing alright? You don’t mind? When we go off somewhere, you don’t have to come.”  
“No! No!” Findekano said, sitting up. “No, Nòm, I fucking love it! When I was a kid, this is the kind of stuff I dreamed of doing when I enlisted as a pilot. Thats not quite what it's like, so this is. Amazing”  
He and Nòm had just returned from a wild adventure that involved  _dragons._ Not really dragons, Nòm said, just aliens that looked a lot like dragons. But all roses have the same name. Or something like that. Maitimo liked to read ancient books, and quote them, and Findekáno had no idea what he was talking about half the time. Suddenly, Findekáno's heart seized, a handsome, loving smile rose to the surface of his mind, beautiful red hair falling in to his face. He missed him so much.   
“Are you sure?” Nòm replied, softly. Findekáno looked up, Nòm’s face was filled with concern, and Findekáno thinks the sudden sadness must have become apparent on his face. Findekáno took his hands, he beamed.  
“I’m sure. I just miss my family… The adventures aren’t the problem, I love them, I only wish I could bring them with me. I wish Maitimo were here. I wish I had him with me to ride dragons with. To see a world with 5 moons and pink and purple skies, go swimming in an ocean with enough oxygen that we don’t need to surface for air…. I just wish he were with me, doing this. My brother isn’t an adventurer, but my sister…. I wish she were here, too.”  
“We will get you back to them,” Nòm said fiercely, “I promise. And I’m sorry we keep getting side tracked for one reason or another.”  
“Don’t apologize! You saved my life, and now you’re trying to get me home. And really… It really is enjoyable. I’m going to have such stories to tell Maitimo.”  
Nòm smiled, going to stand up to fire the ship up and get them off again, and Findekáno flopped back on to the bed. Nòm had way less need of sleep and rest than him.  
“Hey Findekáno?” Nòm asked, suddenly.  
“Hhhmm?”  
“As much as I want to get you home…. I’m so glad you’re with me, for however long you are.”  
Findekáno smiled, “Me too.” He sat back up again, "Nòm... When we get home, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. You know that? I want you to meet my family, meet my husband, and hey you should  _definitely_ be at my wedding. But I meant it. You mean a lot to me, and they'll be so grateful to you.... You'll always have a place with me and my family."  
Nòm's eyes shone, his smile was radiant. In his eyes, there was joy, but also, maybe... Just a little bit of longing and loneliness.

Findekáno hoped that maybe, just maybe he and his family could help fill a hole in Nòm's heart.

 

 

───── ✩ ─────

 

 

 

Turukáno ran his hands over the strange ship, grumpy. He’d just spent the last 20 minutes of his life with his least two favorite fellow engineers on the station. Captain Curufinwë, who most people simply called Fëanáro, even while on duty, and his son, Curufinwë the younger, had been examining the ship and conducting analysis of it when Turukáno walked in, and crashed their party. He took great joy in reminding Fëanáro he was not sole power holder, and Turno was here to make sure he didn’t forget it.  
Now, Fëanáro’s little mini me was barking orders and organizing the analysis of the ship on Fëanáro’s behalf, while Fëanáro sat in the distance, his communication pad on his lap, looking at the ship but not really seeing it, lost in his own thoughts. It was ominous to Turukáno.  
As it were, Turukáno was largely ignoring both of them, or trying to, Curufinwë was glaring at him for hanging around and not listening to his orders.

He could tell that both the Curufinwës were frustrated at their lack of being able to understand most of the readings they were getting off the ship, or how to get into it. Engineering and mechanics came so easy to them, and the ship was giving them quite a handful. Turukáno settled on the area that Curufinwë had let slip was where the door had been, and hummed, then laughed. The door handle, which was firmly locked tight, was old tech. Really old tech. So old that Turukáno had never seen it himself, in person, having only ever read about it. It was a simple metal handle, that opened the door it kept by turning it. How strange to find that on a ship so so seemingly futuristic…. But much of this ship seemed to be like that. A hodge podge of current, modern, and future tech.  
“Maybe you were telling the truth, Finno…..”  
Turukáno’s hand slid over the handle, and, to his shock, the handle popped open. Turukáno gasped, in surprise, and he felt his heart beat start to hammer. Glancing around, it seemed no one’s eyes were on him, the corner of the ship that he was in was tucked away from where the inspection team were currently focused, and looking back to the door, Turno turned the handle, and slipped in.  
The inside of the ship was just one room. There were two beds near the door, in a tiny corridor leading into the main control room. Turukáno turned, hearing the door latch back shut again, gently, on its own. Turukáno walked to the control panel, running his hands over it gently, reverently. He could see out the window, into the hangar below. Curufinwë had gone over to talk to his father, and their team had mostly dispersed. Turukáno turned back to the control panel, laying his palm flat on the panel, when, suddenly, an intense flash of memory and emotion flared through his brain.  
  


It was a memory that Turukáno didn’t know he had, from an age that very few children could remember back to, that is, unless, you happen to have a psy-receptor, and something triggers it very hard. Turukáno must have been young, very young, for the memory was of playtime with another boy, who he could see, couldn’t be more than 3. He had a head full of fluffy, curly blonde hair and golden brown skin, lighter than Turukáno’s own, and big, shining blue eyes, face alight with joy and laughter.

Coming back to himself, Turukáno found himself on the floor, head swimming.  
“What the hell…?” He murmured. He flipped on his back for a few moments, staring at the ceiling, trying to ponder the memory, and why it would come to him here.  
The child had to be his cousin Finderáto, who had died when they were young. Finderáto and himself had been born only a few months apart, and had been raised extremely closely by their mothers, who were best friends and eager to raise them almost like twins.

Until Finderáto had passed.

Turukáno turned his head to look up in the direction of the control window. Turukáno pondered the sudden strike on his psy-receptor, such an intense memory, a memory he could actually visualize. More and more, Turukáno was beginning to believe with certainty that this _was_ a time travel machine…. That had to explain why Turno’s mind was taken back, so suddenly, to a distant memory he shouldn’t have.  
_But why that one…._ He wondered.  
Hauling himself up, Turukáno saw through the windowpane that since he’d been out, His father, uncle, cousin Artanis and Fëanáro’s eldest sons had all gathered and were discussing something, Maitimo gesticulating fervently at his communication pad. Figuring he had to get back to reality, Turukáno was just turning to go, when a little compartment shot out, of its own accord, to display a small bracelet, tucked away. Turukáno reached for it, gingerly, to analyze it, recognizing immediately what it was.  
It was an ID bracelet. Everyone on the station and the planet below had one. Given at birth, it was a tiny little device, with the essential information about the individual accessible, and tracking capabilities, should one be lost. _Findekano’s, maybe….?_ Turukáno thought, but no. Turno remembered seeing his on Finno in the medic ward, and the band was different.

Everyone had different bands, they were designed by the family before the child’s birth, woven together. Most families chose to have corresponding or matching bands, and to his surprise, he found a pattern similar to his own family’s.

Nolofinwë and Arafinwë had always been close, and they had married two best friends; so they naturally chose patterns that matched.

Turukáno raised his wrist to compare them. The bordering pattern was unique to each individual in their families, with the core pattern being the same, with the exception that the geometric pattern was going in different directions for Arafinwë’s family, versus Nolofinwë’s, and the formers all bearing a light green and bronze color, and the latter’s bearing silver and blue.  
The ID technology itself was broken, but the band Turukáno was holding in his hand had the distinct green and gold of his uncle’s family, with the geometric pattern their two families share.  
What the hell did this mean?  
Turukáno looked up. He’s not sure what compelled him to ask a _ship_ a question as if it was a person, but he breathed out, “Can I take this?”  
  


He heard the door to the ship unlatch behind him, and he took that as an affirmative. He closed his hand around the bracelet. And took his leave.

He rounded the side of the ship, the faint sound of the door closing again followed him out, and he joined the group.  
“Where were you?” Curvo said, suspiciously.  
“I was in the ship.” He said, and seven heads snapped up to look at him.  
“You were what?” Fëanáro said softly.  
“How the hell did you get in?!” Curvo demanded.  
“Uhhh. I turned the door handle.” It was a testament to how distracted Turno was that he wasn’t relishing and taunting Curvo over information he had that Curvo didn’t.  
“Don’t be a smart ass!”  
“I wasn’t. I think the ship is….” Alive. He wanted to say, it seemed alive, almost, “… AI. Like the ship itself is an AI, it was responsive to me.”  
“And? What did you find in there?” Fëanáro hissed, almost dropping the calm, cool collected façade he worked hard to maintain, that hid the fire within.  
“It was strange. I think Findekáno was right. It’s like a hodge podge of tech we know, outdated tech and tech we’ve never seen, presumably from the future. I think the dude is a time traveler.”  
“That’s what I was just saying,” Maitimo said, hurriedly, “I was down in the library, with Andreth, we did a comprehensive search on the word Nòm…. And we got a ton of results. Texts from all over the galaxy, and others, from all sort of time periods have reports of an individual called Nòm. Almost too many.”  
“And I spoke to him, he said he comes from an order called the Nòmin… I believe Nòm may be a moniker they all use, collectively.”  
“Right,” Turukáno said, tight voiced. “Uncle…. I had something happen to my psy-receptor while I was in there.”  
“You did?!” Artanis demanded.  
“Really intensely, I had a memory flash through me.”  
“Another instance of this happening within your family,” Fëanáro said.  
“Yes, thank you for stating what we were all aware of, Fëanáro.” Nolofinwe said, coolly.  
“Yeah…” Turukáno said, cutting them off before his father and Feanaro could get in to one of their shouting matches. God help them all when the wedding day finally rolled around. “And after it happened i….. I found this.”  
He extended his arm, opening up his palm, and they all looked down, after a couple beats, Arafinwë delicately took it from his hand. There was tense quiet for a moment, Arafinwë examining it, as everyone examined him.  
Finally, Arafinwë took in a shakey breath. Closing his hand over the bracelet, and squeezing his eyes shut. A single tear leaking out.  
“Right….” He said, opening his eyes.  
“Atar…?” Artanis asked, in concern.  
“Ingalaurë,” Nolofinwë asked, putting his hand on his shoulder, “What is it…?”  
“Brother... Fëanáro…. I need to speak with you. Privately.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for how short this chapter is, but i wanted to get something out! it's also only been proof read twice, i usually do four times so i'm sorry for any mistakes. i'm currently having a very bad break out of eczema on my face from the cold and it's making existing.... a struggle. i'm hoping i can keep getting the chapters out at a normal pace, but it's really up to how much i can look at a screen. i'm actually going through a really rough patch in my life rn, and writing this fic has been so uplifting, every one of your comments makes my day, so thank you thank you <3  
> by the way, for those of you asking- yes! not everyone on the station is an elf. andreth and haleth are, in fact humans, and you mighttttt just see a few more pop up. including one who's name is suspiciously similar to bear. i'm hoping to go into the human/elf thing more later (and if i don't, i'll pop in to one of these notes), but i'm already really distressed at how long this fic is. i meant to keep it under 20k, but now i'm afraid it will be wind up being, possibly closer to 40k, this has just ended up being a passion project i'm pouring my heart into. aaaghh!!!  
> btw- you can find me on tumblr as finwions! i'd love to see you <3


	6. every wise man's son doth know

Arafinwë has no other memory as vivid as the one from that day, 21 years ago, the day his life changed forever. It was a shame, a tragedy, really, that someone’s most vivid, lasting memory would be one of such immense loss and trauma. But thats the way it goes, he supposed, and he thanked the Universe only that his wife had not had to experience it too.

The science division had been experimenting with dark matter and colliding atoms, Arafinwë had been against it, but at the time he had been only a junior Lieutenant, and Arafinwë had always believed in democratic consensus or majority as a means of decision making, despite firmly believing that they were playing with dangerous elements of the universe, powers they did not understand and did not yet have the technology to properly control. In the end, he had been right.

The first signs came only as technological malfunctioning…. Which grew into mass system failures, technology short-circuiting and exploding, until evacuation became unavoidable. His son had been with him in the main science lab when the evacuations started, his wife had been helping to coordinate them, so their son had been with him. At the time, they did not know what was causing the station to shut down, they did not know the epicenter was in the science wing until it was too late.

 There had been several other scientists there with him when the great crack appeared, it shouldn’t have been possible for one single, jagged crack to stretch across different surfaces without altering its form adherent to the different dimensions of matter it had ripped through, but it was magnificent to look at. Arafinwë felt, somehow, that the light emanating from it was light from the very beginning of the universe itself… As if he were looking at the light of creation, captivating everyone and causing them to forget how urgent their situation was. 

He didn’t know how it happened, in later times he could not understand, no matter how often he went over it in his head, how his son had been flung so far from him. He had been safe in his arms, Arafinwë had had such a firm grasp on him, but there had been an explosion, and when Arafinwë had come back to consciousness, his leg had been trapped under a large hunk of metal, and his son was far from him, flung in the direction of the crack, which had begun expanding.

The next few moments of Arafinwë’s life were unbearably vivid, he still remembered it as if it had only happened seconds ago, as if there was HD video forever broadcasted on to the screen of his mind.

He had begged his crying son to walk to him, ‘come to Atto, Findo, please,’ desperately trying to free himself and his leg all the while.  
His son was sobbing, he was so young that he still walked on shaking legs, and the whole ship was shaking, now, and he was upset. Begging his father to come to him, he stumbled continously, unable to reach him, his baby brain not understanding why his father couldn’t come to him.

As the crack expanded, the entire world seemed to go quiet, to move in slow motion as rays of light spread further and further out, seemingly almost sentient, reaching out blindly, until the light finally reached his son, wrapping itself around him.  
“Atto!!!” Was the last he heard of his son, a confused, frightened sob, before the light enveloped him, and he disappeared, the crack following immediately behind him with a flash, disappearing as if it had never been there at all. The station had gone quiet, the rocking and explosions finished, it was quiet after a storm.

But Arafinwë screamed. He screamed, and screamed, until the world went black.

───── ✩ ─────

Arafinwë clutched the ID bracelet to his heart, his hands shaking, his entire body shaking. He was walking towards the holding cell where Nòm was, Nolofinwë and Fëanáro flanked on either side of him, all three of them with a single-minded purpose. They had believed him far more easily than Arafinwë had expected, but Nolofinwë was someone who thought with his heart and his gut instincts, and he trusted his brother’s own absolutely. Fëanaro, on the other hand, was someone who’s brain was so fundamentally based in logic, that if the logic was there, seeming impossibilities did not phase him, he was the ideal juror, nothing trumped evidence, and all evidence now seemed to point to one thing

When they reached the cell, Turcafinwë and Aredhel were sitting outside, both of them having obviously become bored with their assignment, playing games with their fingers, but the complacency in their faces disappeared immediately upon seeing the look on their fathers’ faces.  
“Atar…?” Turcafinwë asked, fearfully, “What is it?”  
“At ease, Turko…. We have business we must see to. Wait here.” Turcafinwë stepped aside, his father the only force of nature that could tame him.

The three senior most members of the space station walked into the tiny cell, their three, individually larger than life presences seemed too large for the small space when they gathered in it together, as if they shouldn’t all be able to fit. Nòm looked up, a frown falling across his face.  
"Oh dear,” was his assessment, reading their expressions, “This cannot be good…”

Arafinwë took up the seat across from Nòm, looking deeply into his son’s… Into Nòm’s eyes. He could not fathom how he didn’t know it instantaneously, how he didn’t know from the first, with absolute certainty that this was his son.

He saw his wife’s eyes shining across from him, and with the wariness and uncertainty that had currently taken up residence in them, his eyes seemed to echo the last time he saw his son 21 years ago, before he disappeared... 

Fëanáro and Nolofinwë had taken up spaces in the corners of the room, and Arafinwë tore one hand away from clutching the ID tag, keeping it clenched tight in the other, to rest his free hand gently on one of Nòm’s. 

“Nòm….” He asked, quietly, not sure where to start. “When one falls through a crack in time… What does it look like?”  
Nòm’ eyebrows furrowed, confused, but Arafinwë gave him a pleading looking, asking him to humor him. Nòm relaxed slightly, and acquiesced.  
“Cracks in time can look like many things…. And the ways and means someone might fall through one varies just as greatly.”  
“Can it…. ever take on the form of… of a literal crack? A crack through matter itself, with blinding light pouring out?”  
“Yes…” Nòm answered, warily, “Yes. A crack like that was likely made artificially, by technology.”  
“Mm.” Arafinwë acknowledge, collecting himself, “Did Findekáno ever tell you at all about my son?”  
“Yes, I am sorry for you, he told me that he died.”  
“Aye… But with what you’ve told me, I’ve now realized that my son… fell through  a crack.”  
Nòm’s eyebrows shot through the roof.

Arafinwë extended his other hand, now, the one holding the bracelet, and opened his palm on the table for Nòm to see. “Please forgive him, but Turukáno found his way on to your ship, and found this. Do you know what this is?”  
  


Nòm made no comment, simply staring at the bracelet for a while before he breathed, “Don't apologize, she would not have let him on, nor shown him if she did not have a reason.”  
Arafinwë was not sure what he meant by that, but Nòm raised his eyes up to him and continued, “It’s a bracelet… I was wearing it when my people, the Nòmin, found me as a child. It’s the only piece of my former life I have left.”

Tears began to drop from Arafinwë’s eyes. “This is an ID bracelet.” His voice cracked, and he felt concern mingled with intense support and strength radiating at him from his brother. To his right, he felt strength being sent at him from Fëanáro, even. “It is an ID screen that we are all given at birth… the band, however, is woven by the child’s family… And families often coordinate theirs.”

He set the bracelet on the table and pulled back his sleeve, to reveal his own ID bracelet, his heart stuttering, “This is mine.”

Nòm stared at it, and stared. And stared. Arafinwë could see him thinking, could feel it. This close to his son, whether he had a psy-receptor or not, Arafinwë could feel him.  
He did not know what to say, Nòm did not seem to either, until he raised his shining eyes to Arafinwë’s, and the words spilled out of Arafinwë before he could stop them.  “I know your face…” He reached his hands out to cup Nòm’s face. “I've known it in my heart for 21 years.”  
  


“Atto…” Finderato said, in wonder as tears started to pour down his face, too. He seemed to be coming to a realization, being struck by lost memory and the wonder, “Atto, I have seen your face in my dreams, I have seen it in my dreams and now I remember… I remember it. When I was young I dreamt so often, but I had forgotten. I remember, now.”  
  


Arafinwë shot out of his chair in desperation to close the gap between himself and his son, the chair clattering to the ground and the table sent flying out of the way. Throwing himself into his son’s arms, the weight of them together became too much, and they fell to the ground, holding each other…. It was 21 years later, but had the tides been different, he could almost imagine that his baby son had managed to reach him before the light of time had, and he was holding him, safe.

He imagined that this is what it would have been like.  
“My ship…” Nòm- _Finderáto-_ said, finally, “She has some degree of sentience. She- she… She has a penchant for taking me where she thinks I need to go…”  
He pulled away, wiping the tears away, “I think she brought me to Findekáno intentionally… She certainly let Turukáno in and showed him this bracelet, intentionally.” He laughed.  
“Oh my son,” Arafinwë kissrd his son’s forehead, “We have so much to discuss.”

 

───── ✩ ─────

Fëanáro stepped out the room, making sure the door slid shut behind him as quickly as possible, blocking the newly assembled and overly curious crowd outside the room from seeing the intimate goings on inside.  
The crowd consisted of Aredhel and Turcafinwë, as well as all the rest who had been in the hangar when Arafinwë had pulled he and Nolofinwë aside to tell them about Finderáto.  
Fëanáro’s two eldest sons and Curufinwë, as well as Nolofinwë’s middle son, and Arafinwë’s other child had come. Oh, how her life was going to change, he thought, as his eyes fell on her, her own eyes shiftinb from where they were staring seemingly right through the walls, to Fëanáro’s eyes. They were blown wide, and Fëanáro could tell that she knew, already, her psychic abilities were too great to not know.  
“Go and get your mother, child.” He said, gently. She nodded, stiffly, and turned to go.  
“Atar,” Curufinwë said, frustrated, “What’s going on?”

Fëanáro rested his hand on his young son’s cheek and, looking in to his eyes, he thought hard, now, about what it would be like to lose him. To lose any of his sons, really, and repressed a sigh. He supposed he should have had more sympathy for Nolofinwë, and for Arafinwë, too. And he needed to be patient with them, now.  
“Atar…?” Curufinwë asked, unsettled by his father’s long silence.

He sighed.  
“Something rather marvelous has happened. I do not know how to say it….”  
Fëanáro cocked his head, as if he was only beginning to really consider the repercussions of this, and what the way forward would be.

“It would seem,” He continued, still trying to figure out the words he wanted to use, “That Findekáno was not the only son to return from the dead.”  
Fëanáro took a breath to continue, to explain, but was cut off-  
“Nòm is…. Finderáto isn’t he? Our cousin?” Fëanáro turned to Nolofinwë’s younger boy, in surprise.  
Fëanáro looked straight at him, unflinchingly, "Yes.  
“When I found that ID bracelet… I had a memory.” Turukáno was beginning to cry, as shocked murmurs echoed through the group, fighting against the tears, and Fëanáro could tell crying in front of others was deeply discomforting for him. “It was a memory that I should have been way too young to remember, but I was playing with Finderáto….”  
He trailed off, saying nothing else.

It was quiet. Everyone seemed to be digesting this, perplexed.  
“How is this possible?” Aredhel whispered.  
“As we understand it, now, Finderáto fell through a crack in time, when he disappeared. He comes before us now, grown.” He paused, “But, I feel the deeper answers will come in time.” The group lapsed in to pensive silence, everyone assembled trying to process what they’d just found out.  
Finally, Maitimo broke it, in barely a whisper, “I have to go wake up Findekáno.”

───── ✩ ─────

Findekáno had a dream… A strange dream.

In the dream the station was under siege by the same thing that attacked his ship a year ago, except there were legions of them, now. The dream was so vivid, and he could see his family and his friends, and he felt fear for them. He saw Fëanáro clutching his son, one of the black-haired ones, though Findekáno couldn’t see his face to tell which, and was sobbing, the sight of Fëanáro sobbing unsettling him immensely.

He saw his father commanding forces, desperately trying to organize a response, and he saw Nòm running about, doing the somewhat manic attempts at assessing and handling emergencies when they arise, and he saw his Uncle Arafinwë running at his side, desperately trying to keep up.

 

And it was all on mute. The dream was silent, vivid images dancing through his brain, with no sound attached.

Finally, he saw Maitimo, tears running down his face, expression calm, despite the tears, but sad, there was such sadness in his face, it seemed almost apologetic. He was looking at Findekáno through a pane of glass, on his knees on the other side, and a bright, blinding light was shining behind him. Findekáno could feel himself screaming. He couldn’t hear his screams, the world was silent, but he could feel them- the pain and rawness in your throat when you’re screaming yourself hoarse, and he could feel the ache of his hands slamming repeatedly against the glass. _‘Is this how Turukáno had felt?’_ ’, he found himself wondering as he felt the tears streaming down his face, and somewhere in his heart he could hear himself shouting  _‘You promised! You promised I would never have to be without you by my side, again! You promised you would never leave me alone!_ ’’

He saw a smile, the saddest smile Findekáno has ever seen, come over Maitimo’s face. _‘I’m sorry. I love you.’_ Findekano read as his lips moved, and suddenly, a sharp, wicked, maniacal laugh rang through Findekano’s head, shattering the silence. The bright light flashed, and Findekano thought he saw a glimpse of a vicious smile and hair of molten red-gold before the light swallowed everything else in Findekano’s mind, then disappeared as Maitimo’s voice broke through it-“FINDEKÁNO!!”

He awoke with a start, Maitimo hovering over him, looking at him with concerned eyes.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yes,” Findekáno croaked out, surprised by his own voice and, jerking forward, tangled his arms around Maitimo, desperate to cling on to him, “Why?”  
“You’re crying.” He said, simply, putting his hand on Findekano’s head, as the aforementioned tears beginning to soak Maitimo’s shirt. “And because you just latched on to me like you’re terrified.”  
“Oh. It was just a really bad dream.”  
Maitimo cocked his head, “Do you want to talk about it?”  
Findekáno considered this and pulled back. “Yes. And no, I just had a dream that the thing that attacked our ship, in the asteroid field, came back and attacked the station. Except there were legions of them.

Maitimo’s brows furrowed suddenly, “The creature… Damn, I totally forgot about it, with everything going on… We still need to launch an inquiry on that.”  
“Hey,” Findekáno punched him softly, “We’re talking about me, now. You were there…. Sacrificing yourself like I did.” Findekáno felt his lip quivering again, and Maitimo reached out to cup his cheek and wipe his tears away, giving him a sheepish, apologetic smile. 

Why was Maitimo always so apologetic? Finno suddenly wondered, he always seemed so ready to apologize for himself.  
  


"I’m sorry,” He said, right on cue, “I’m sure I had a good reason.”  
“HEY! NO!” Findekáno punched him again, a little harder. “No! Don’t do that, promise me you’ll never do something like that!”  
“You don’t have a lot of ground to stand on, Fin.” Maitimo pointed out. 

“I didn’t do it _on purpose."_ He punctuated with an eyeroll, "I was trying to corner it in to an escape pod on its own, I just got stuck in there with it, and knew I had no other choice, at that point. Knowing you, you would jump to self-sacrifice as like, a second or third option. Maybe even a first.”

“So I’m allowed to self-sacrifice so long as it’s a last option?” Maitimo’s lips twitched into a smile, and Findekáno scowled at him.  
“You don’t get to decide what is a last option and what isn’t. You can’t be trusted. No self-sacrifice from you without explicitly consulting me first, got it?”  
“Mmmm…”  
“Maitimo!” Findekáno shifted into a slightly hysteric earnestness, “Promise me! Before I went to sleep you promised you’d never let me be without you again, so promise me now- NO SELF SACRIFICE without consulting me first.”  
He sighed, “I promise to try my hardest to not self-sacrifice without consulting you.”  
“Maitimo.” Findekáno threatened.  
“That’s all you’re gonna get, Finno.”

Findekáno settled into Maitimo’s arms, sullenly. “Fine. Whatever… But, Nòm was there, in my dream. If you’re ever with him in an emergency, you can count on him. Things always work out fine and everyone lives as long as he’s there, he’s almost magic.”

“About him….” Maitimo kissed Findekáno’s nose as Findekáno pulled back, brows furrowed in concern, “There’s something, well… Somethings happened. Nothing bad. But, I don’t feel right being the one to tell you. Your family should.”  
“You are my family.” Findekáno replied, warily.  
Maitimo gave him something between a grimace and a smile, “Not when it comes to something like this. Come on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience with this one! I should be back to an every other day schedule again, and I sweeear it's gonna start wrapping up soon, I've cut out a bunch of non-essential stuff, which I might post as one shots if there's interest? Anyways, thanks again as always for reading <3


	7. present mirth hath present laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: There's sex discussed, somewhat, in this chapter. There's nothing graphic, just references and implications. But in case that makes you comfortable, skip past the first page break a couple of paragraphs.

Felagund sat alone in his ship. Felagund: That was his name, that’s what the other Nòmin called him. That was the name they gave him. To the rest of the Universe, they all went by the name Nòm, but amongst themselves, they had identity.

Except, that wasn’t his name, either. His name was Findaráto: that’s what his parents named.  
_What’s in a name…?_ He thought, smiling softly to himself, despite everything. Findakáno had liked to misquote Shakespeare, and after what felt like the dozenth time hearing him do so, Findaráto had pressed him on where he had even heard those quotes, and Findekáno had laughed- telling him that his Maitimo was weird and liked to read ancient books- “Shespeer” was his favorite to quote, but Findekáno only ever half listened.

_‘Shakespeare, Findekano. His name is Shakespeare.’_

_‘What a strange name.’_  
‘He was a strange man. And also born thousands of years ago, hence why his name might seem strange to you. Would you like to meet him?’  
‘What?! Really?!’

_‘Yeah, he’s a friend of mine, I’ve visited him before. I inspired him to write Midsummer’s Night Dream, with these ears of mine.’ he laughed, flapping his ears and making Findakáno laugh._

_‘Oh my god, Maitimo will be so jealous.’ He mused, delightedly._

 

Findaráto smiled at the memory. How many times in their adventures had he wished Findekáno would continue to travel with him even after they got him home? That maybe some of Findekáno’s family might even want to come? How many years of his life had he spent wishing and longing for a family at all?

The life of a Nòmin was a lonely one. Finderáto had taken opted to follow it because he had wanted to help people, to keep the universe safe, and to see every inch and nook and cranny of it and learn all it had to share; but he had also chosen it because he knew of no other way to live. He had become one of them when he was so young, it was the only life he had ever known.  
But he had had no idea how lonely it would be.

And he was alone, again, now. Because for all he had always wanted a family, suddenly having one, having the one he was born to and had always thought _long lost_ , it was overwhelming. He was not used to being a part of events- always he was _separate_ and detached from them, even as he participated. He had been overwhelmed by it, the tears, and the questions and the love and emotion, he had needed isolation. So, he had fled to his ship. His only home. His only family besides the other Nòmin, who he barely ever saw.

The door to his ship popped open, suddenly, and Findekáno stepped in, closing the door gently behind him, and sat down on the other bed, opposite Findaráto.

It wasn’t until that moment he realized he’d been sitting on Findekano’s bed, instead of his own. Findekáno looked at him then, solemnly, and Findaráto managed a smile in return.  
“How are you?” He asked. “They told me you were fine, that you were resting.”  
“I am, and I did.”  
They lapsed in to silence for a few moments, before Findekáno picked back up again, “Nòm… Are you… are you okay?”  
Findaráto's ears drooped, as tears started to slide down his face, and Findekáno stood up to go sit next to him, to wipe it away.  
“I’m just… I’m overwhelmed. They told you, I assume?”  
Findekáno nodded, then took Findaráto’s face in his hands. “Hey, look at me, it’s okay… You and I, we had already become like family, right? So, it’s not much different than it already was.”  
Findaráto let out a tearful, disbelieving laugh, Findekano’s simple wisdom never ceased to amaze him.  
“It is, Finno, it's wildly different. I now have a whole, massive family- it’s not just you.”  
“Well, I always said my family would be like your family, right?”

“The difference is that that was just… Just a sentimentality. These people…. They’re all actually my family. They have always loved me, and thought me long dead. They love… they love the idea of me, but they don’t know me. What if I’m not what they want me to be? What if I can’t _be_ what they want me to be?”

“Hey, look at me.” Findekáno scowled, jerking Findaráto’s face back to him as he went to move away. “They want and expect nothing from you. You are their son, no matter what. You don’t know my aunt and uncle, but I do. They are two of the kindest, wisest people I know… I know they understand how hard this is for you, and they won’t expect anything from you. They’re just… they’re just really glad to know you’re alive, okay? Even if… you don’t want to stay here and be their son, even if you never want to see them again… They’d be okay with that. Yes, they would be sad, but it would be enough for them to know you’re okay, that they got to see the person you grew in to.”  
Findaráto let out a sob and collapsed into Findekano’s arms. “You’re an incredible person, Nòm… Or would you rather I call you Findaráto? That which they call a rose, and all that, though, right? Anyway, you’re amazing, you’re kind, you’re wonderful and funny- you’re more like my uncle than you know. They will adore every part of you. Trust me, your sister is a handful and NOTHING like them, temperament wise, so you’ll be a blessed relief to them. If you want to be, I mean.”  
Findekáno pressed his face in to Findaráto’s hair. “Hey… If you want to just go now, if that’s easiest for you, you can. They’ll understand, if this is too much for you…”

“No.” Findaráto said, pulling back. “No. I’m not gonna make impulse decisions like that. I’m not going to be a coward. I want to get to know my family. Even if we do go our separate ways… I’ve wanted a family for so long, wanted to know who I was for so long. I can’t pass that up now.”  
Findekáno squeezed his hand and smiled. “Then I’ll be with you every step of the way. I’m here for you.” Findekáno boinked his forehead against Findaráto’s. “We’ll do this at your pace.”

───── ✩ ─────

It had been a week since Findaráto and Findekáno had returned to the station and things were now, somewhat, returning to normal, Findaráto having even lovingly garnered the name Findo, to match Findekáno’s Finno.

But Arafinwë’s family had kept mostly to themselves, in their apartment, as had Nolofinwë’s family. Findekáno had had a psy-receptor reinstalled, and he’d spent the last few days spending time with his family during the day, healing after such a hurt. The two brothers and their families were taking the time to heal, both separately and together- that was how Findekáno was spending his days, currently.

But his nights belonged to Nelyo.

Nelyo had resumed his duties, relieving his father and Arafinwë and taking sole command of the station until Nolofinwë was ready to return. There had been questions about Nelyo’s own readiness to return, but for his part he felt fine- in fact, he thought not working would probably drive him mad, especially since Findekáno wasn’t there with him during the day. Work was therapy for Nelyo, and knowing that Finno was here, alive, and safe, with his family, and that he would get to see him at days end was enough to keep him content.  
And he thanked the universe that he had never been someone inclined to sleeping very much, and that he could function well when exhausted, because he got very little sleep, now.

Some of it was the talking- recollection, catching up- Findekáno had _so_ much to tell Nelyo, he sometimes barely stopped for breath.

But a lot of it was also sex.

Finno had always been very tactile person, on top of being an exercise junkie; and sex, being a confluence of those two things was a favorite hobby of his. Nelyo wasn’t complaining, it was just not always very easy to keep up with Findekáno at the best of times, and at present, Findekáno had been a year without sex, and had a lot to get out of his system.

_‘You never encountered any attractive males in your journey to help satisfy your longings? I’m sure there were plenty who would have eagerly jumped in to bed with you. I wouldn’t have minded, I’d much rather you not be in agony.’ Nelyo had teased, one night, sweaty and tired, but extremely content._

_‘Don’t be ridiculous, I’m engaged to the most attractive, beautiful person in the universe. A verifiable geek god, I’m utterly ruined for anyone else.’ Finno murmured from where he was determinedly sucking another hickie on to Nelyo’s throat._

_‘_ **Greek** _god, Finno- and you’re ridiculous. I know you encountered other attractive beings, even if you do have a preference for me.’  
‘Maybe,’ Finno said, breathlessly, as he pulled back, lips swollen and wet, ‘But I don’t want to have sex with anyone but you.’_

 

Staring up at the ceiling, Nelyo let the sound of Findekano’s soft snores fill his ears, relishing in the press of Finno’s naked back up against his side, the warmth and softness of his skin was a blissful familiar comfort that would never not be utterly thrilling. He reached his hand over and rested his on the curve of Finno’s hip and turned his head to look at him, then turned over to curl around him, kissing his shoulder, before he stood to get out of bed.

It was early in the morning (Nelyo was fairly certain the sun had not risen yet), and most of the space station would still be asleep. Nelyo knew Findekáno would sleep for a while more, the definition of a heavy sleeper, especially after an… active night.  
Nelyo smiled at the thought, assessing the state of himself, and deciding a shower would be a good idea before going out to see other people, even if Finno would be angry for showering without him.  
Climbing in to their shower, he bent his neck and let the water start to run over his neck and down his hair, deciding he would go down to the library and show her one of the gifts Findekáno had brought him, his favorite of those gifts.  
  


It was a thing of beauty: a handwritten poem by Shakespeare himself.

_‘Findo took me to meet him, when I told him you loved him.’ He had said, handing the envelope over to Nelyo, reverently. ‘I told him about how Findo and I were on a journey to bring me home in time for my wedding, that you thought I was dead…. He wrote this for us.’_

_Nelyo had scoffed in wonderous skepticism, ‘Shakespeare wrote a poem about_ us _…?’_

 

He had read it time and time again, since Findekáno had given it to him; almost like reading a prayer. He had read the poem before, in an anthology of Shakespeare’s sonnets, but this was different now- now he knew these words belonged to him, to him and Finno.

 

**_O Mistress mine, where are you roaming?_ **

**_O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,_ **

 

 It was meant to be a wedding gift, Findekáno had told him sullenly, but he didn’t have the patience to wait, their wedding having been put off indefinitely, all things considered. Nelyo didn’t mind so much. Didn’t really care- while it’s true he desperately wanted to call Findekáno husband, he was just blissfully happy to have him alive. Finno cared more about the formality than he did, but they had moved in together, anyway so- there was really no rush.

 

**_Trip no further, pretty sweeting;_ **

**_Journeys end in lovers meeting_ **

****

Nelyo turned the water off, feeling clean and refreshed, and relished the sound of Findekano’s soft snoring on his ears, again. He dressed quickly, donning leggings and a sweat shirt, before gathering up his hair in a bun and gently taking up the piece of parchment that had the precious poem on it. Despite being thousands of years old, it looked brand new, the only thing betraying it’s antiquity was the type of parchment that it was- or that it was even on paper at all.

 

_**What is love, 'tis not hereafter,** _

_**Present mirth, hath present laughter:** _

_**What's to come, is still unsure** _

 

 

Upon coming to the library, he was surprised, somewhat, when he got there, to find that Andreth was not alone.

Andreth was like Nelyo, not someone who slept much, and early mornings on the station, and certainly within the library, were reserved pretty much exclusively for her, and Nelyo, if he came.

But it would seem Findaráto was an early riser, too.  
“Good Morning.” He greeted, both of them looking up in response, a smile lighting up Findaráto’s face.  
“Captain Nelyafinwë!! Good morning!”  
Andreth laughed, “Captain Nelyafinwë? Have you taken up a commission on the station already? Call him Maitimo. He’s not on duty.”  
“Or Nelyo, if you prefer.” Nelyo smiled, good naturedly. “It’s good to properly meet you, I feel like we haven’t really had a proper introduction.”  
“No, you’re right we haven’t.” He laughed, “Though it feels strange to be doing it without Findekáno.”  
“You’re right, he’d have a fit if he knew, _will_ have one when he finds out. Oh well, it can’t be helped. He is fast, fast asleep.”  
Findaráto softened, “He’s doing well, then? I haven’t seen him much at all, these past few days.”  
“He’s doing really well, he’s annoyed our weddings been put off…. But he’ll get over it, it was the right thing to do. It would have been ridiculous and hampered by everything going on.”  
“Ah… You’re right. I am sorry.”  
Nelyo reached out his hand, earnestly “Don’t be. Findekáno and I are together, that’s what matters. Marriage is a formality. It has its benefits, bureaucratically, sure, but… His coming back, and _you_ coming back, are blessings that far, far outweigh the evil of putting off our wedding.”  
Findaráto gave him a grateful smile.  
“It’s my turn to ask though- are _you_ doing alright? I can’t imagine what this must be like for you.”  
“Yes…” He smiled weakly, “It is pretty overwhelming and I’m not sure what I’m going to do moving forward with my life, there’s a lot to consider you know, but…. For now, I’m filling in a lot of blank spaces in my life, and filling holes in my heart and soul. That’s enough for now. Besides, I have to stay at least until your wedding. I promised Findekáno, and, to be honest, I think it’s going to be an absolute circus of entertainment between your two families, no offense. I really want to see if there ends up being a fight between your two fathers.”  
Nelyo erupted in laughter, Andreth shushing him only half-heartedly, suppressing a smile. “Don’t apologize. I think a lot of people feel that way, though I wouldn’t get your hopes up. My mother will, possibly quite literally, kill my father if he misbehaves at my wedding, and he knows that. She probably cares more than I do- so he’ll be on a _very_ tight leash.”  
“Disappointing.” A wicked grin on Findaráto’s face

“Don’t worry,” Nelyo replied, matching the grin, “I think it’ll still be a circus. My mother is a wonder at husband-and-sons wrangling, but not when there’s as many variables as I’m sure there will be at something like a wedding.”  
The talk lapsed into friendly conversation about various topics- the joy of their early morning vigil eventually ended by an interruption from Lt. Glorfindel striding through the library doors with his normal, confident gait; but it was offset, somewhat, by a look of suppressed horror and nausea on his face, and Nelyo could read there was something direly wrong, immediately.

“Glorfindel… What’s happened?” Nelyo rose from his seat, warily.  
“Captain,” He said, bowing stiffly, and he was shaking. “I’m sorry to interrupt but… Something serious has happened, we found, there’s…” He took in a shaking breath, collecting himself, “We found a body. Someone’s been killed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry this update took so long, especially after I promised in the last one to be updating regularly again; but my mortal flesh prison seems to have it out for me this month, and I've been having some issues with a nerve disorder I have flaring up again, thats making it kind of impossible to write. It's a terrible situation because I'm more or less stuck on the couch, but unable to do exactly what I'd be doing on couch arrest. That being said, I'm going to try to consume as much ibuprofen as safely possible and get this mf finished! Thanks for your patience, and I'm sorry this is getting sooo ridiculously long. I'm looking at it hopefully ending on 11 chapters.
> 
> The Shakespeare sonnet referenced in this chapter is from Twelfth Night https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47420/song-o-mistress-mine-where-are-you-roaming  
> This got thrown in to this fic, but this particular sonnet has always given me Big Russingon Energy. Much Thangorodrim.
> 
> Anyways, thank you so so so much for everyone he's been reading, and especially all you kind people who have been commenting, it means the world to me!


	8. surface from the dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note: within the context of the legendarium, the term Quendi refers to the elves, but it means "a speaker" or "those that speak with voices", so within the context of this story, I'm using it to refer to all biological creatures with higher cognitive skills- language being the hallmark. Kelvar are all other biological forms.
> 
> Editing this behemoth was A LOT, so please enjoy <3

Findaráto walked brusquely to keep up with Maitimo, the change that had come over him was instantaneous and rather remarkable to watch- the shift from friendly, charming, easy going older brother type to a serious, unconquerable commanding officer would have been an unimaginable swing if Findaráto hadn’t seen it for himself. Findaráto had registered Maitimo’s notable height before, but now that he’d shifted in to command mode, he seemed to almost tower, his long legs taking massive strides as he walked.

Glorfindel seemed more familiar with the emergent gait, and more experienced with keeping up with it, even in spite of his current state of distress. Findaráto had decided to go with them, the instinct to go where trouble was ran strong in him, and it was made all the stronger by the stagnation of his life in the past week. He wasn't used to being settled down and leisurely, which, he supposes, was another reason he'd begun to secretly start doing inspections on the fabric of spacetime in and around the station, while he was here. Since he arrived, far too many other strange, anomaly events that had occurred on this space station since that initial incident where he fell through the crack as a child had been brought to his attention, something was going on, and Findaráto wasn’t sure what. They'd since learned, from Findekáno, that the thing that had attacked their ship was like a great wolf- an organism that could not just randomly appear on a space ship. He had learned about the woman Haleth, who they'd found floating in space- he recognize the suit they had found her in, it was from the 23rd century, around the time elves started appearing, evolutionarily. He hadn't told his father yet, but he wasn't so certain that the crack that pulled him in  _was_ actually the fault of their experiments. They had no technology that could generate something with repercussions this massive.

And now there was a body. Someone had died.

As they rounded the final corner, Maitimo slowed, and another tall elf came in to view. He had height on him, not quite Maitimo’s but taller than Findaráto; his hair fell in a long sheet of raven black, and his face and figure were regal and commanding, the former set with a magnificent pair of stormy gray eyes and a strong nose.  
“Ecthelion-“ Maitimo began, cutting off as his eyes fell on what Ecthelion was standing over.

It was undoubtedly a body: that much was clear, but it had been burned beyond all recognition, and Findaráto understood now, the state of shock and disgust Glorfindel was experiencing. Everyone on this station were children of peacetime, and they were not used to sights like this, even if they called themselves a military. Ecthelion was doing a better job at keeping his feelings in, but Findaráto could tell there was a deep disturbance in him. Findaráto turned, next, to glance at Maitimo, but his reaction was utterly restrained, an iron wall having fallen over his face, the only thing that was apparent on it were the running cogs of emotionless situation processing going on in his brain.

“Captain.” Ecthelion greeted, with a nod, “Glorfindel and I found him as we were doing the morning sweep, we’re not sure who he was or what his rank or division are.”  
“Are you even sure the person was male?” Maitimo asked critically.  
Ecthelion tilted his head apologetically. “No, I’m not, you’re right.”  
Findaráto moved to the body, crouching down next to it, and placing his hand over its heart sadly, “I’m sorry this happened to you,” he murmured, “May you find peace.”  
He moved his hand up and away to the person’s ears: they had been burned off up to the base, but they were still distinctly human.  
“This was a human, not an elf.” Findaráto murmured.  
“How can you tell? The ears are gone.” Ecthelion inquired, following Findaráto's own eyes.

“Maybe, but the bases are still there. The ear canals on elves are longer and narrower,” He pressed his finger to the area behind the ear. “And elves have muscle behind the ears, as well, and there aren’t any here. I’m fairly sure this person was male as well. You can tell by the shape and size of the cranium.”

“Glorfindel,” Maitimo turned, “Go rouse my brother, Morifinwë, have him gather the body and take it to the morgue to try to identify it. Tell him to bring a body bag, discretion is paramount, I don’t want anyone else seeing this.” He set a hand gently on his shoulder, his voice softening. “After that I want you to go off duty for the day.”  
“Captain-“  
“You’re upset, Lt. Captain. There’s nothing wrong with that, we’ve never seen anything like this, it’s horrific, and it doesn’t make you weak to be affected by this. In fact, I think it makes you a better officer to have such empathy.”  
Findaráto smiled, Findekáno had been right when he said he would like him, both as a person and as a leader.

Glorfindel gave his captain a smile, and he turned to Ecthelion, “I’m saying this to both of you, and I mean it seriously- this needs to remain utmost secret. I don’t want anyone to know unless I make the decision that they need to. We don’t know what’s happened, and the most important thing right now is making sure everyone on this station is safe so we can investigate and secure any potential threats without worrying about people’s wellbeing. Ecthelion, I need you to go put the station on lock down, issue a mandatory order of apartment arrest, no one is to leave their quarters- give the reason as scattered system failures, and we’re diverting all power to residential areas until we can find the source and sort it out. Once you’ve done that meet me in the command room. I need you to be my acting Captain right now, since I’ve taken on command.”  
Ecthelion bowed, “Yes, Captain, I’ll do my best.” And left.  
Findaráto stood and Maitimo turned to him, “Findekáno says you’re great in an emergency.”  
Findaráto nodded. “I am, stuff like this is my everyday life.”  
Maitimo sighed, looking tired now, “I’m not supposed to involve civilians in things like these, but you’re not a normal citizen. And I could really use your expertise now.”  
“I’m here for you,” Findaráto put his hand gently on his arm, and smiling “But be warned, I have a tendency to take command of things when I think it’s crucial. I’m sort of a loose cannon.”  
Maitimo laughed, “Well, you’re not the only loose cannon I have to deal with on this ship.  
“What comes next from here?”  
“Now?” Maitimo repeated, pulling out his com-pad and beginning to tap at it, “Now we get all four captains,” he grimaced, “Or in this case, 2 captains and 2 acting captains, and I debrief them. Then we decide where to go with this next.”

───── ✩ ─────

Findekáno was grumpy, very grumpy. He had awoken to a bed sans fiancé, with two messages from said fiancé, two messages that Findekáno did not appreciate.

Well, one message from him, and one from central command- but Findekáno knew the latter was passed down from him. And it was the second message that actually annoyed him, the fact that there wasn't a third message.  
The first message read

**Went for a walk, message me when you get up, I'll make breakfast**

The second read:

**_NOTICE: WHOLE STATION UNDER MANDATORY APARTMENT LOCKDOWN UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. POWER BEING DIVERTED TO RESIDENTIAL WING WHILE TECHNOLOGICAL MALFUNCTIONINGS ARE INVESTIGATED. CRISIS LEVEL: MINIMAL._ **

The fact that the second message came with no further explanation drove him mental. What was Findekáno supposed to do with that? All the power had been diverted to the residential area, sure, but that meant Maitimo was in an area that was a danger zone, and Findekáno thought, given their relationship, he was at least owed a broader explanation, or a personal ‘I’m ok Finno.’

Finno knew what he was doing was _bad_ , but he didn’t care. Findekáno had grown far too bored and restless with being off duty for so long, and he was ready to get back to his life and to have _things to do_. He didn’t like feeling useless, especially not during emergencies. Like hell he was going to just sit in his room while there was a crisis happening- especially with Maitimo at the heart of it. Sure, Findekáno was going to get an earful when he first appeared, but Maitimo was going to be too busy doing other things to try to get Findekáno out of his hair and make sure he stayed out. What’s more, Maitimo really needs to be reminded that Findekáno is a capable officer and doesn’t need to be protected under lock and key.

Finno felt the ping of confusion and concern on his psy-receptor before her heard the voice, “Findekáno?!”  
Findekáno turned to find his uncle staring at him in concern, sending the same sort of feelings out of his receptor, mingled slightly with suspicion and reproving. “What are you doing out?”  
Findekáno cleared his throat, thinking quickly, then figured it was better just to tell the truth. “I’m looking for Maitimo. He didn’t send me a message about where he is and if he’s okay.”  
“Findekáno,” His voice and psychic expression turned entirely to reproving, now, “Maitimo is the acting commander, he’s working, and is likely too busy to send messages as he’s handling important matters. Furthermore, you’re not active duty right now.”  
“Neither are you, uncle. What are you doing out, then?”  
Arafinwë sighed, “You are too like your father, you know? Alright, I am looking for Findaráto, he went off early this morning and has not come home. He doesn’t have a com-pad and he doesn’t know our protocols. I’m worried.”  
“Don’t worry, Uncle. Findo can handle himself in the direst of situations, in fact that’s kind of where he thrives. _In fact_ , he’s probably attached himself to the side of some poor engineer trying to help and learn. He’s like that.”

His uncle seemed unconvinced. In fact, he seemed unduly stressed and afraid for a situation only considered minimal crisis level.

“Uncle…?” Findekáno asked, suddenly suspicious. “Uncle, what do you know that I don’t?”  
His uncle walked up to him more closely, grasping his hands on Finno’s arms, “Findekáno,” his voice was hoarse with fear, “Maitimo messaged your father and I, even though we’re non-active right now, he felt, given our positions, we needed to know. They found a body, Findekáno. Someone was killed. They’re in the middle of investigating it and are keeping us on lock down. Finno, you need to go back to your apartment. In fact, go to your parents’ for their peace of mind. I’m begging you.”  
Findekano’s heart was in his throat, hammering away, staring deep into his uncle’s pleading eyes.  
“Okay,” Findekáno managed to get out. “Okay, I’ll go back, but Uncle, you have to, too, okay?”  
His uncle smiled at him, some degree of worry draining from his face. “I will, as soon as I can confirm Findaráto is at least safe with someone.” Findekáno nodded.

The thought was already forming in his head before he even began walking away from his uncle. How could he go back, now? How could he go sit in the comfort and safety of his parents’ home while something like this was happening? He would always belong where the action was, especially if Maitimo was there.

Findekáno swallowed down the guilt of lying to his uncle and, as he rounded the corner, he steeled his resolve and took the path going in the opposite direction of his parents’ apartment. Maitimo was in the command center, without a doubt, and that’s where Findekáno was going. He rounded another corner- and then he saw it. His heart stopped, and he froze.

It was a great, big wolf, prowling around; huge and ugly, yellow eyes shining.

It was, undoubtedly, the same thing that attacked his ship a year ago. Or, less than two weeks ago.  
Findekáno stepped backwards- slowly, slowly as possible, so that it wouldn’t notice him, and as soon as he was back around the corner and out if it’s sight. He broke in to a run.

 

───── ✩ ─────

Nelyo sat grim faced, watching his father digest all the information he and Ecthelion had just unloaded on them. He supposed he should be watching the other division captains, Hador of the administrative division, and Erestor acting in Arafinwë’s place for the science division; but Nelyo could not take his eyes off his father, his presence commanded the room without trying, in truth, Nelyo thinks this is his father’s natural state, that he consciously has to diminish himself; unguarded like this, he forgets to do so. Nelyo was in charge, but he knew his father was going to take the lead, and Nelyo was willing to let him. It reassured him.

Finally, he broke the silence, “You sent Moryo down to the medic wing to examine the body, yes? And he’s alone?”  
Nelyo nodded, “Yes.”  
Fëanáro raised his eyes to his eldest son, “I do not want him down there, alone. I don’t doubt his combat ability, but he’s still only a medic, and being alone is always more dangerous.”  
Nelyo nodded, “I agree, I'll send someone down there.”  
“Makalaurë,” Feanaro added, “Send Makalaurë.”

“Fëanáro,” Hador grunted, “Mind you remember who’s in charge.” Hador was close with and loyal to Nolofinwë, and had no love for Fëanáro.  
“At ease, Captain,” Nelyo said, raising his hand. For all Hador disliked his father, he and Nelyo had an excellent relationship, and Nelyo was immensely fond of him. “He means no ill, the boundaries between superior and subordinate and father and son need to make room for each when they have to coexist. He speaks to me as a father but does not undermine my power as his commander.”

Maitimo nodded at Ecthelion, who pulled his com-pad out to contact Makalaurë, then glanced at his father. His father’s eyes were shining at him. There wasn’t a smile on his face, but Nelyo knew his father well enough to see the fondness in his eyes.

Erestor shifted up in his seat, straightening his back and clearing his throat, “I’d like to see the body as well, to be honest. I don’t know how else I could better help with trying to figure this situation out, and it seems to me that this death was not natural. No natural occurring fire could cause burning to that severity, based on what you tell me, particularly considering there were no scorch marks whatsoever; in fact, I’m baffled as to how our monitors did not pick up a flare in heat that extreme. In a pressurized oxygen tank like this that should have blown up an entire wing. It is also of course possible that… if it was an individual who did this, the body was moved, but I feel that would be an unnecessary measure.”  
  


“What is it we want to do about this situation, though?” Hador said, “Are we really going to just lock people in their apartments and wait for something else to happen?”  
“We did a bio-scan after everyone was registered as being in their apartments,” Ecthelion pointed out, slightly exasperated, a tone Nelyo wasn’t used to hearing from him- Ecthelion was a rational minded problem solver, but there weren’t enough variables here for him to even begin to connect things. “We cross analyzed bio signatures on the ship with ID tags and there were no excess individuals on the ship except this one.” He said, gesturing politely to Findaráto.

 Erestor stood, moving towards the command screen that showed analytics from across the whole station, “Is it possible we’ve been infiltrated by non-organic intelligence?”

“Is it possible this is a prank?” Hador put forth. Erestor paused to furrow his eyebrows at him.  
“A prank?” Ecthelion asked, indignantly.  
“Yes, some little clowns- kids I mean, experimenting with making organic compounds resembling a corpse, or something?”  
“No,” Findaráto said, softly, “It was certainly a body, that belonged to someone. I’ve been around enough bloodshed to know the smell of putrefied flesh. Someone’s life was taken from them.”  
As Findaráto spoke, Erestor began tapping at the command screen’s control panel. And his brow furrowed. “You said there were no non-ID’d organic signatures on the station, right?”  
Everyone else in the room turned around to look at him, Nelyo’s eyes narrowed. “Yes.”  
Erestor turned back to look at them. “Captain, there are 57.”  
Nelyo shot out of his seat to get to the command screen, at the same moment, the command room door slid open and immediately slid back shut ferociously, Findekáno flopping back against the door, gasping for breath.

Temporarily forgetting everything else in shock, Nelyo almost shouted, “Findekáno!? What are you doing here?!”  
“I wasn’t going to just let you wade in to a danger like this on your own! You can’t just send me an apartment arrest ordinance with no other message like I’m just an average person and not expect me to come looking for you.”

Nelyo suddenly felt rage rising inside him, “YOU WERE UNDER ORDERS TO STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT! YOU WERE UNDER THOSE ORDERS FOR A _REASON_ , FINDEKANO! Void, so help me, Findekáno just because you think you can get away with this behavior due to mine and your father’s standings does not mean we won’t suspend you or discharge you entirely!”

“Maitimo- Captain Nelyo, we can fight about this later but oh my god, the thing that attacked our ship- in the asteroid field. It’s here, it’s on the station, th-there are three of them, I saw three of them!”  
Nelyo turned back suddenly, to the screen that Erestor was staring at with wide eyes, horrifying realization dawning over him. “54 of them,” he murmured, “these signatures must be them.”  
“Are there any civilians outside of their apartment, right now?!” Hador jumped up.

“Uncle Ingalaurë is out there!” Findekáno gasped out. “He was looking for Findo, but I couldn’t find him again on my way up here.”

Findaráto’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, then moved to the door, “I’m going to go find him and get him to safety!”  
“Findaráto-“ Nelyo blurted out, grabbing one of the spare guns kept in the room, and moving to toss it to him.  
Findaráto shook his head, “I don’t do guns, I’ll be fine.” And disappeared out of the door.

Hador pulled out his com-pad, “I’m going to begin evacuations now. I’m contacting Commander Nolofinwë and Lt. Captain Eärwen to begin organizing them now. They’re down there, I’m going to let them handle it, Universe knows if I’ll be able to get down there. I’ll help run point on it from here with the command screen.”  
Nelyo pulled out his communication pad, as well, tapping it to get in to contact with Morifinwë, “I’m letting Moryo know to barricade himself in the med ward. We’ll try to get someone down there to get him out.”  
“Lt. Captain Kanafinwë is down there with him, too,” Ecthelion reminded them.  
“No he’s not.” Came Erestor’s voice, frigid with shock and horror, watching the events unfold.  
“What do you mean?” Nelyo’s father’s voice was painfully icy in it’s quiet; settling into Nelyo’s bones just as chill ran through his blood.  
Erestor took a shaky breath, “He hasn’t reached the med ward yet, he’s still in the hallway… There are two creatures moving towards him.”

Silence settled over the room for one, painful moment.

And then Fëanáro erupted, not in sound, but in motion, in presence- he crossed the room in commanding strides, throwing the door open, whipping his gun out of his holster and shouting behind his shoulder, “Send me my son’s coordinates to my com-pad, now!!!”  
And the door slammed shut behind him. 

Silence in the room again. 

Nelyo raised his com-pad up, again, tapping at it more slowly now, trying to push away fears for his brother, so he could continue to operate. Their father was going to him, and the child deep inside him told him what he had believed his whole life, ‘Nothing could kill, Atar, and Atar would never let anything hurt any of us, ever.’

It had been a long time since Nelyo had grown in to the knowledge that that wasn’t true, but right now it was the only thing keeping his fear at bay.

“I’m sending out a command to all people with certified with level 3 or 4 combat training to not evacuate and leave the residential wing. I want as few people involved in this as possible, but we need people to keep these things at bay. So, help me, Universe, I’m getting as many people off this station alive as possible.

He sent the command out:

 

**_URGENT: ALL LEVELL 3 & LEVEL 4 COMBAT TRAINED OFFICERS PLEASE EXIT RESIDENTIAL WING ARMED FOR BATTLE. UNKNOWN ALIEN BEASTS HAVE INFILTRATED THE SHIP. THERE IS NO TACTICAL STRATEGY: KILL ON SIGHT._ **

───── ✩ ─────

Mairon watched smiling, occasionally flicking his hair, flowing and dancing in the gravity free vacuum of space, out his face. He could hear and see through the eyes of his wolves that the citizens of the massive station had begun evacuating- it didn’t matter much to him. The ones evacuating were the weaker ones- humans and elves not fit enough to be considered dangerous combatants- he didn’t want any of them anyway. He knew that the greatest warriors among them would be drawn out to fight his wolves, and that was when he would strike.

 _‘Don’t kill them, alright?’_ He had cooed at his beasts before unleashing them. _‘I want as many of them alive as possible, with minimal injuries. It’s very important.’_

And it was, it had taken Mairon a long time to settle on these specific little creatures as the object for his experimentation- long had it been since he had decided he needed new creatures for war, new warrior-servants; ones that could think on a higher level than kelvar, he needed Quendi. But then he was faced with a dilemma: which species should he pick to be the starting point for his new breed of warriors? He had needed a species that was strong in body and mind- but not _too_ strong that they would break before they bent to his will.

He had settled on elves. There were few Quendi species, even in the deeps of time, at the very end of the universe, that had evolved specifically to exist in space. While it was true that, in some fundamental part of their DNA, they were still creatures born from open, oxygenated spaces, covered green with grass and guarded by mountains and planes and rivers; they still longed to feel the subtle grace of gravity and the wind on their face…. Despite that, though, the elves were a people of the stars, born to space, for space. They were strong, stronger in body and mind than the humans they had evolved from when they took to space- but in the end, they still had come from that race named  _Homo Sapien_ , in their own ancient tongue, from when first they became aware of themselves. Human bodies were weak to carbon, causing them to age and decay more quickly than most other Quendi species, and who’s tendencies towards things like love and art over science and reason made them even weaker.

But that’s also why he had settled on _these_ elves in particular. After he had decided elves would be his targets, he arrived at his next dilemma: what point in their evolutionary chain should he choose from? After much pondering and searching- the elves of the Space Station Tirion proved ideal. They were at the point in their evolutionary chain where they were very distinct from their human cousins, strong in body and in mind, but still clinging on to that feeble bit of humanity in them.

That was the bit that Mairon would use to bend them to his will. He smiled. He had spent a long time coming and going from this place, observing them and making up his mind, he had torn quite a number of holes in spacetime in and around this place; but, to his immense joy, none of the other Ainur or their wretched little Nòmin had noticed.  
Disgraced and outcast he may be, but he was still Ainur himself, and his treading through time and space never seemed unnatural, no matter how many holes he left.

Mairon drifted through the void in to the direction of the station, pondering. He knew it was highly unlikely that any of the elves his wolves would manage to subdue alive for him to take back wouldn’t be in pristine condition. He decided, then, he needed to intervene, to find and select one elf that was great in both mind and body, who would be the absolute hardest to bend to his will, but all the more worth it for the development of his new species. One completely undamaged by his wolves.

 **“Be careful, precious, you cannot just set them alight, as you always do.”** Came a voice from the Darkness.  
  


“I know,” he returned, flicking his hair out of his face, “How hurtful it is for you to imply I cannot handle myself in combat.”

The Darkness chuckled, and though he was in the icy cold of the outer darkness, he felt warmth run through him, **“I do not underestimate your combat prowess, I simply doubt your patience. You don’t get joy from battle and usually jump right to torching your foes, like that poor little human so unlucky to come across you sneaking around.”**  
  


Mairon huffed, making a gesture to wave the entity away, though it was not corporeal and all around him, “Mind your business, Melkor. This is my project, you don’t possess the subtly or tact for things like this.”

**“If you say so, beauty…”**

Mairon felt the atoms of his being dissolve, flowing through space and permeating the walls of the station, reassembling again inside the station. He breathed in, the now familiar scent of the station stained with something new, but so familiar- it was the scent of fear, and it brought a smile to his face. “Now…. Who will be the one?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant it when I said editing this behemoth was a lot, I like, was literally denying myself dinner until I finished so I wouldn't end up putting it off. So now, at last, food time. Thank god. This is one of those chapters where it's like, you spend a hundred years working on it but you still don't feel satisfied as an author, you feel? That being said, we're finally getting to the end where things are tying together, I'd love to hear what you think! And thanks, again, to all of you reading this.


	9. a beauty calm and clear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *clears throat* A volt generator was a fancy way of saying taser, but it sounds cooler than taser. It's also more multi-function than a taser. For instance- you can use it to restart equipment, it's great for an emergency where you need to defibrillate one fo your buddies....  
> Or, you know, you can tase a fucking wolf.

The feeling of the station’s steel floor was hard under Fëanáro’s feet, but he pounded them against it over and over and over again, relentlessly, as he ran. He could barely feel it, he could barely feel anything except the burning fire in his body driving him forward with manic intensity; images of his second son’s face swimming in the forefront of his mind.  
Kanafinwë…. His Makalaurë, his heart burned for him, his enigma of a son.

 

He understood all his sons, he loved them and he knew every nook and cranny of their hearts and minds, but Makalaurë had always remained somewhat of a mystery to him, always keeping parts of himself closed off.

Of all his children, save maybe his youngest, most people would deem Makalaurë the gentlest and most mild tempered of his family. And yet, in terms of the corps they served in, he was arguably the greatest assassin on their station. It had baffled Fëanáro when Makalaurë had enlisted in the combat unit, baffled him even more deeply when he had risen to Lieutenant Captain, leader of the entire unit.

The station’s combat unit was small, everyone enlisted had some level (1-4) of combat training; they called themselves a military, but in truth they were peace keepers, administrative leaders in the galaxy, they rarely saw combat, so they needed few who were specialized solely in that area.

Perhaps that is why he chose that area of enlistment, Nerdanel had suggested. Perhaps he chose it because it would give him the least to do.

Fëanáro might have believed that, if Makalaurë hadn’t risen so quickly up the ranks, hadn’t shown such a natural affinity for it.

_‘He is your son, Fëanáro, you’ve instilled in them the instinct to be the best at all that they do. That’s all.’_

Maybe, but that didn’t seem quite right, even still.

There always seemed to be an emptiness in his son, a sadness and darkness that Fëanáro could neither place nor fill.

Descending the final ramp and rounding the final corner that his com-pad told him would take him to his son, the scene came in to view.

 

It twisted a knife in to Fëanáro’s stomach.

 

Three wolves were bearing down on Makalaurë, his clothes ripped and torn, bloody gashes already marring his body, his long hair having come loose from its tie, falling into his face.

He did not have any of his guns drawn, but he had his laser blade clenched in one hand, and his volt generator in another. His son’s eyes connected with his, and they blew wide.  
“Atar!”  
Fëanáro drew his gun, moving in to an offensive position, fire blazing up in him again, the wolf standing between him and his son suddenly becoming the singular focus of all the hate and violence in his heart.  
“Atar!!” Makalaurë shouted. “The guns don’t work- their fur is too thick, you need to sink a blade in to them, the volt box works too if you can physically connect it with their body.”  
The wolf nearest to himself had turned away from his son, baring it’s teeth at him, and, holstering his gun, Fëanáro bared his teeth in return, “You’ve picked the wrong elf, you wretch, and you’ve picked the absolute worse place in the universe to be.” He pulled his blade out of his holster and clutched the volt box in the other hand. “I don't like things that keep me from my sons.”

───── ✩ ─────

Curufinwë had been bitterly beside himself when Tyelkormo left to join their brothers in the fight.

_‘Why should I be the only one of those of us who are enlisted to not fight?! This isn’t fair! My place is with my brothers and my father!’_

_‘You aren’t trained for it.’ Their mother had scolded._

_‘It’s just a technicality!! I can handle this fight, I just haven’t gotten the certification-‘_

_‘- or the actual training,’ Ambarto cut in, derisively._

_‘- to be considered a level 3 combatant.’_

_‘Well that’s just too bad!’ Amil had said, not sounding remorseful at all. ‘You’re stuck with us.’_

_‘Hey.’ Tyelkormo said, taking Curufinwë face into his hands, ‘We’ll be fine. I’m fucking glad you’re not coming, even if I’d rather have you at my side.’ He kissed his favorite brother’s forehead, ‘Someone’s gotta stay to make sure the Ambarussa are raised to be as massively awful as the rest of us, if dad and us die.’_

_“Tyelkormo!” Their mother chastised._

_‘Moryo is only a level 2.’ Curufinwë grumbled, making one last attempt at protest._

_‘And he isn’t supposed to be out there!’ Their mother decried, her tone suddenly taking on a more concerned tone. ‘And I only hope to the universe that he is safe.’_

 

That was what had determined what Tyelko was going to do. _No strategy_ , Nelyo’s message had said. No strategy- that meant Tyelko could do whatever he wanted, right? Right. Well, he was going to go save his brother. Suddenly, there was a bang and a clatter behind his left shoulder, causing him to wheel around, gun at the ready, to find Artanis flat on her back, one of the great wolves jumping out on top of her.  
Tyelko took aim at the wolf and fired, hitting it dead in the heart. Pilot he may be, but sharp shooting was his special.

To his shock, the beast was unphased by the blast, but turned its beastly head to look at Tyelko.  
“Okay,” Tyelko murmured, “Alright.” A vicious grin spread across his face, as he took aim at a much smaller target.  
“Their fur absorbs blasts! The gun won’t work!” Artanis shouted, and Tyelko ignored her, he had his target locked.  
Taking his second shot, he fired a blast again, hitting it right in one of its ugly eyes, blinding it.

The beast howled in anguish, rearing up and screaming, and Tyelko took his opportunity: holstering his gun, he whipped out his laser dagger, and took a running leap, landing on the wolf’s great neck and stabbing his dagger right through the dip in its skull.

It let out one last choking sound, and died, collapsing on Artanis’ lower half.

“Eurgh!!” She shrieked, “Turcafinwë get it off of me!”  
Tyelko dismounted, looking at his kill with pleasure, then moved to haul it off of her.  
“What are you even doing out here? Why didn’t you join the evacuations?”  
She scowled at him, “I’m level 3 combat trained, you numbskull.”  
“Oh, really?” He said, sounding surprised but bored at the same time.  
“Your family’s tacit disregard for anyone you deem beneath you revolts me. Whatever though, have you seen my father? He went out looking for Findaráto and never came back, and somethings frying the com-pads.”  
“I know,” Tyelko growled, “Cause I’m trying to find my brother, and I don’t know where he is. Have you seen him? I haven’t seen your father or your brother, though.”  
“Which brother?” She snorted derisively, earning an eye roll from Tyelko.

“ _Moryo_ , Nelyo had him go do something and he got stuck out here. He’s only level 2 trained.”  
She shook her head, “I would head to the med wing, though.”  
“Right, that’s obviously where I was going.” And turned to leave, unhelpful and unpleasant as always, he thought.  
“Hey Turcafinwë!” Artanis shouted from over his shoulder. “…. Thank you. And good luck!”

───── ✩ ─────

“I just don’t understand why you can’t just follow my fucking orders, Findekáno!! You’re the only person on this station who can’t seem to separate personal relationships from professional ones!” Nelyo snapped, taking advantage of his height to make vast strides down the hallway for the exact reason that he knew his short Findekáno couldn’t keep up without a struggle. 

“What does it matter?!” Findekáno gasped, hurrying along behind him as best he could, “I’d be out here anyway at this point! Aren’t you glad I’m out here _with_ you?”

Nelyo made a frustrated growling sound, because it was true, and they both knew it. He was very fucking glad Findekáno was with him right now, and if he weren’t, Nelyo would be doing his utmost to get to him and find him. When he had told Findaráto he wasn’t the only loose cannon on the ship, he was talking mainly about Findekáno. Findekáno was a great leader, he didn’t make choices that would endanger other people, but he tended to take matters in to his own hands, to say the least, especially when the only life in his hands was his own, and he did incredibly reckless things.

It drove Nelyo and Nolofinwë crazy.  
“That doesn’t fucking matter, Findekáno, that’s not what we’re talking about, I’m talking about your inability to follow commands and respect your superiors’ decisions.”  
“Oh, you’re my superior?”  
“YES!” Nelyo thundered, whirling around to look at him, enraged, “Yes, and you know I am! I’m older than you, I’ve been enlisted longer, I’ve risen to a higher rank than you, when you are on duty _you will listen to my commands_! You _know_ I would never cross the wires between our romantic relationship and our professional one-“  
“Do I?” Findekáno asked, looking up at him, “Do I know that? Do you really think you wouldn’t?”  
Nelyo stared at him, gape mouthed, “Yes! I really think I wouldn’t, I _know_ I wouldn’t.” He grabbed Findekáno’s shoulders and grasped them unbearably tight, “You- you- You are smart, capable, gifted; it doesn’t matter how fucking terrified I am of losing you, I would _never_ abuse my power to try to suppress _anyone,_ let alone you, and when have I ever, _ever_ , tried to command you in our personal relationship?”  
  


Nelyo could see guilt spreading itself across Findekano’s face, and he could feel it coming from his psy-receptor.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.  
“You should be.” Nelyo replied, but it wasn’t anger, it was sheer disbelief. He loosened the grip on Findekano’s shoulders. “Findekáno, I can’t give you preferential treatment. I didn’t know what was happening, I needed the system on lock down and I needed the situation contained. You weren’t… God, Findekáno, you weren’t anywhere near the front of my mind, at the time. I was thinking about a million things, but I wasn’t thinking about my personal concerns. That’s why I’m a commander, Finno. I can turn it off…. If you weren’t here right now, if we’d reached this point and I knew things were out of my hands, the way they are now, my first concern would be to look for you.”

Findekáno didn’t say anything, but Nelyo could feel him reaching out from his receptor- it was apologetic love. Nelyo sighed and pressed their foreheads together: an acquiescence to the request for forgiveness. Joy, he felt from Finno’s receptor, and it melted his heart;2 the way Findekáno experienced joy was the purest feeling in the world- it’s one of the reasons he fell in love. The radiating joy was suddenly cut off by fear; Nelyo began to pull back just as Findekáno shouted, “Maitimo look OUT!”

 

He felt Findekáno jerk his shoulders, hard and they were both slammed to the floor, as another great weight slammed down next to them, Nelyo whipped his head around, and saw the thing that had flung itself at them was one of the massive wolves. Nelyo whipped his head around to look back at Findekáno underneath him- he had been knocked out, having taken the majority of the force of their fall, and blood was flowing from his temple.  
“Finno!” He gasped, teeth gritted, the wolf snapped and barked, getting ready to pounce again, and Nelyo shoved himself up to turn to the wolf, eyes glaring. “Alright, you great ugly bastard, you want to mess with me? Come on.”

───── ✩ ─────

Mairon leaned against a wall inside the space ship, flipping his own vision between the various wolves that were still alive, and frowned. It seemed he had vastly underestimated the combat potential of the elves. Thus far, all of the elves his wolves had faced had managed to bring them down- in fact there were only 20 that were still alive and fighting. On one hand, it was delightful: he had made the right choice as the baseline for his new breed of fighters; but frustrating and vexing on the other hand: it seemed he would have to simply use traces of DNA he scraped off the corpses of his wolves as the baseline for his experiments, and try another tactic to secure live subjects.

Regardless- Mairon wasn’t leaving this engagement without at least one subject to start with, and he would have to make it the absolute prime most candidate he could find.

It would have to be the most physically capable, robust, hardiest fighter.

It would have to be someone with immense psychological resilience.

It would have to be someone with something special, a glint in their eye that set them apart as their own breed.

Mairon flicked through the images in his wolves’ minds, then opened his own eyes with a smile.

Ah.

He found the one.

───── ✩ ─────

Findaráto held his sonic reader in front of him like a beacon- he had secretly programmed it to be able to track his family members’ receptors, presently following the pull in the direction of his father’s receptor, and came hurtling into a hallway to find him at the mercy of one of the beasts. It was standing over his father, who was a bit bloody, and groaning on the ground; Findaráto paused for a moment, puzzling. The wolf could finish his father off at any moment, but it seemed to be hesitating, like it was keeping him alive for some reason, and didn’t know what to do with him. Findaráto snapped out of it, and began to wave his hands, and shout.

“Hey! HULLO! Over here!”  
The wolf snapped its head in his direction, and his father did too. The latter’s eyes went wide in fear, choking out, “Findaráto, no! NO!”

The wolf rounded on Findaráto now, and Findaráto whistled, fiddling with the settings on his sonic reader, and dodged as the wolf lunged, causing it to skid to a halt. Findaráto raised his reader up as sonic sound waves started to emanate from it.  
“Sleep, friend.” He murmured, and the wolf teetered, eyes drooping, dropping to sleep.

Findaráto whirled around, running to his father’s side and helping him up, “Atar… Are you alright?”  
“Yes,” He groaned, “Yes, I’m just a little winded from the fall, these are just a few scrapes.” He turned to give Findaráto a sheepish smile, and Findaráto was struck by how much he felt he was looking in a slightly aged mirror, whilst simultaneously struck with love for the deep-seated kindness that etched itself across his face. “Findekáno was right, it would seem. Here I was running around, worried about you…. And you ended up having to save me.”  
Findaráto smiled at his father, softly, and gave him a squeeze, “Don’t mention it. I can understand why I might seem a little incapable in situations like this.”  
Findaráto felt immense warmth for the elf he had learned was his father, they had bonded intensely in the past week, if timidly…. His father was just so much like him, but better, so much better.   
“Yes, I should have trusted Findekáno's judgement- and put more store in your competence.”  
“It wasn’t that,” Findaráto smiled, gently, “You’re a father, you were doing what father’s do.”  
“I am.” His father said, tenderness coloring his voice. “And I was.”

Findaráto turned to move back to the wolf, waving his sonic reader over it, and frowned.  
“What is it, my son?”  
“These wolves…” He cleared his throat, his grip tightening. “They have signatures on them that could only come straight from the space time continuum, and wolves shouldn’t be in the space time continuum at all, let alone 54 of them that just _happen_ to all fall through the same crack at the same time.”  
His father analyzed his face, “Have you seen them before?”  
“No…. Not exactly. But I think I know what they are.” He turned to look at his father, “Do you know how to get to the hangar from here? I need to get to my ship, I have to send a message.”  
Arafinwë nodded, starting to move in that direction, “Are you going to contact other Nòmin?”

“No… Well, not exactly. Even if they could help me, they wouldn’t be able to get here easily. These wolves were brought here intentionally- by one of the Ainur, a disgraced one who was rejected from their numbers. I think that’s the reason there’s so many holes in spacetime around here with no discernable cause- the Ainur can travel spacetime of their own accord, but if they’re not careful, they can rip holes. He must be coming and going here, for some reason.”

Arafinwë strode alongside his son at a clipped pace, eyebrows raising, “Are you going to contact the Ainur, then?”  
Findaráto gave him a tight smile, tinged with bitterness. “No, as much as I’d like to, they don’t make themselves easy for us to reach out to…. But there’s a girl I know. She’s a friend of mine, not a Nòmin herself… Her father was, but she decided she didn’t want this life.”  
“Then why are you reaching out to her?” Arafinwë’s question was polite, as he opened the door to the hangar.  
“Because,” Findaráto said, simply, “Her mother was one of the Ainur, which makes her half, and she’s the only person who can handle who we’re dealing with here. In fact, she’s taken him on before. Her parents gave her another name, but amongst the Nòmin, we call her Tinùviel.”

───── ✩ ─────

Nelyo leaned back against the wall, chest heaving, exhaustion settling over his bones, but he was entirely unhurt even as the wolf took its last, shuddering breath.

 Nelyo eyed it for a few more moments, to make sure it was well and truly dead, before collapsing on to his knees next to Findekáno, who was still out.  
“Finno? Findekáno? Finno can you hear me? Please wake up, baby, hey.”  
He rocked Findekano’s face gently between his hands, trying to get him to wake up, and slowly he moaned and stirred, Nelyo breathed a sigh of relief as Findekano’s eyes blinked open.  
“Maitimo…?” He asked, voice hoarse.  
“It’s me, hi, I’m here, ah,” He exhaled, practically beside himself with relief, “I’m here, baby.” He needed to get Findekáno down to see Moryo ASAP, he was very likely concussed, and there was way too much blood for Nelyo’s comfort.

Plus, he wanted to get to Moryo to make sure he, too, was okay; and his father and other younger brother would likely be on the way to the med ward, too. Oh, Universe, he hoped they were okay. Another pang flashed in his heart, suddenly. 

**_Tyelko._**  stars and moons- Tyelko was out there, alone, too; and he didn’t have their father with them like Makalaurë had. He used his psy-receptor to reach out and touch his family. They were all fairly distant away, but immediate kin like they were meant an extremely strong bond. He could feel them, even if only surface level emotions, Tyelko was exhilarated, Moryo was frustrated. Adrenaline was coursing through his father and second youngest brother too intensely for him to read emotions, but he could tell- all four of them were alive and well.

Nelyo let out a shuddering breath.

One thing at a time. One thing at a time. _You can’t save everyone_ , he told himself. _Not even the people you love the most._

It pained him. It pained him beyond words to have to admit that to himself, but he couldn’t be everywhere at once, he had to focus on this thing that he had here now, in front of him. Get Findekáno to the med ward, get him to the med ward.

He hauled Findekáno up on to his shoulders and, turning around, almost dropped him in shock when he found a person standing there.

The _strangest_ person Nelyo had ever seen.

With a horrid, serene smile.

His hair seemed to flow, not wildly like if he were underwater, but it seemed to have a movement almost like subtly dancing flames, and it shifted almost imperceptibly between red, gold, yellow, orange.

And his eyes. His eyes were pure gold, with almost slits for pupils.  
“I think you’ll be perfect.” He said, his voice was like music played in a haunting minor key.

“Who the hell are you?!” Nelyo demanded, shifting Findekáno who had fallen unconscious again, just slightly so he could draw his gun.

The being, because he certainly was no species Nelyo had ever encountered before, laughed, and with a flick of his wrist, tossed Nelyo’s gun aside. He felt horror blooming in his chest.  
“What’s your name?” His faced settled back in to that horrid smile.  
“Like Hell I’m telling you. These are your beasts aren’t they? What do you want?!” he snapped, tightening his grasp on Findekáno.

“Don’t be like that,” The being, _the creature_ , said, smiling, “I can heal him, you know.”  
Nelyo’s eyes shot toward his hair line, and the entity continued, “Call it an act of good faith.”  
“Good faith for wh- hey!”  
The creature had summoned up a tiny flame in the palm of his hand, and blew on it, causing it to drift and float into Findekáno.  
“Finno!” Nelyo shouted, dropping him from his shoulders into a bridal hold and falling to his knees. Nelyo was flabbergasted as the gash on Findekano’s forehead disappeared before his eyes.  
Nelyo looked back up at the being with wide eyes. “…..What do you want?”

“I want you.” He said, simply, sweetly. “You see, I’m a scientist- a geneticist, and I’m looking for the ideal patient to run experiments on, and I want the strongest specimen I can find, and I want it completely undamaged.”  
“What the hell are you talking about?” He ground out.  
“Simple: if you come with me and comply to all the experiments I do on you, with no resistance, I’ll pull my wolves off of your station, I’ll leave everyone alone and no one will have to die.”  
A coldness settled over Nelyo. _No one will have to die_ , that made it seem like no one had died yet- and Nelyo had the power to prevent that changing. He looked down at Findekáno, who was coming back to consciousness now, when suddenly a sharp pang hit his psy-receptor.

It was grief, anguish, and fear. It was coming from his father, and it was a terrifying thing to experience. Suddenly anxious, Nelyo reached out to feel for Makalaurë.

He was fading.

He was weak. He was dying.  
Anguish seized over Nelyo now, too, his heart raced, “I agree. I’ll do it. But I need you to do one other thing.”

The being raised his eyebrow, seeming to be delightedly interested.

“I need you to go to my brother, and heal him like you just did.”  
The being laughed, “Alright, deal. I enjoy the audacity to try to bargain when you have no standing. _Quite_ a bit of mental strength.”

Nelyo set Findekáno down, who began to push himself up just as Nelyo stepped over him. “Maitimo….?”  
He felt a stab of guilt, and sorrow, and was suddenly grateful he never fully promised Findekáno he would never sacrifice himself; he knew this was going to hurt him, but he needed to save as many people as he could, he needed to save his _brother,_ and right now, he could save them all. “But I also need you to _prove_ to me that all the wolves are gone from the ship, or else I’ll fight whatever the fuck you’re going to do to me with everything I have.”  
The being smiled, “When we get to where we’re going, you’ll see, there will be 54 wolves with us, be it living or a corpse. Those are all the wolves I brought.”

“Maitimo- _NO_!” Findekáno shouted, seeming to now fully grasp what was about to happen. He thrusted himself up, and lunged at Nelyo, only to be rebuffed back on to the floor by a glass wall that had suddenly appeared between them, and Findekáno looked at it in horror, before he lurched back up to bang against the wall.  
“MAITIMO, NO, YOU PROMISED!!! WE CAN WIN THIS FIGHT, DON’T DO THIS!”

 Nelyo choked back tears, turning to give Findekáno a heart broken, apologetic smile, hoping he could hear him, or at least read his lips, “I’m sorry, Finno, I’m so sorry, and I love you. Until the end of time.”

Findekano was making no effort to choke back his own tears, which were flowing freely down his face, and Nelyo could feel the anguish radiating out from his fiancé’s psy-receptor. Nelyo did his best to send feelings of love and regret from his, through his own despair.

He felt warmth wind its way around his right wrist, and looking down he could see an iron shackle, like the ones from ancient times, but made of fire-that-didn’t-burn, the end of the chain was being held by the monster.  
“So your name is Maitimo, hm? My name is Mairon- we match!” Mairon waved his hand, and suddenly a glowing white crack appeared out of thin air, and stretched wide, vertically, so that Mairon and Nelyo might both fit in.

Nelyo swallow, finally letting a few tears slide down his face, “To my brother first, right?”  
“Of course!” Mairon purred.

Nelyo took a deep breath, and stepped through the crack.  
Findekano’s screams were the last thing he heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we have an update!! Yay!! I'm weeping with joy! But also stressed- I've officially hit 30k words in my Word document ARGH!!!! BUT we've finally hit the main plot point! So I'm feeling a little better. Hope you enjoy!!


	10. interlude/prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't an actual update! I'm sorry, it's just a simple little diddy.

Findekáno groaned, “Noooooo… No, I’m getting married tomorrow, I can’t go on a mission, I’m getting married tomorrow, I need to get ready.”  
  


“I know,” Maitimo laughed. “I’m the one you’re marrying.” He was leaned over the back of Findekano’s chair in front of the flight dispatch screen, with his hands over Findekano’s arms on the arms of the chair. “But it’s a fairly cut and dry mission, and it’s a great chance to get Irissë out in to the field and develop her skills. Besides, there’s a lot of people high on the chain of command who are looking at the three of you as a potential go-to team. You’re the best pilot on the ship, Turgon is a great engineer, and if Irissë does decide to pursue the combat division, that means we’d have another trio unit made up entirely of siblings, which you _know_ is the ideal we strive to have as many as possible, and an ideal we’re remarkably short on, currently.”  
“Good point, you’re right, and your brothers are so far from being the ideal.”

“Hey,” Maitimo said, boinking the top of Findekano’s head with his chin. “My brothers are a fantastic unit.”  
“In combat situations maybe.” Findekáno said, twirling around in his chair to face Maitimo, who put his hands on his hips with a cocky smile. “Cause for a pilot, Tyelko likes fighting waaaaay too much, and Curvo thinks he’s too smart to do basic engineering ops that you know make up liiiiiiike 90% of our missions? And Makalaurë is way too much of a nihilist to reign them in like he should, as their captain.”  
  


Maitimo smiled and shrugged, “We’re working on them. And hey, if you three assemble as a unit, you guys can show them what for. Show em how it’s done.”  
“Tempting…. But does it really have to be today?”  
Maitimo flopped in to Findekano’s lap, and Findekano gave a happy oof- it’s always awkward logistically to have Maitimo and his long limbs in his lap, “Look at it this way: if you’re stuck doing this, I’ll have to do the moving in to our new apartment all by myself.”  
Findekáno hummed, “Also tempting…. But then you’ll get to set it up by yourself, the way _you_ want to, and I know I’ll hate it. Wait, THAT’S why you’re doing this, isn’t it?!”  
“No,” Maitimo said, warmly, wrapping his arms around Finno’s neck. “I promise I’ll just move the boxes in. I’ll unpack just enough that it won’t feel weird and unromantic on our wedding night, in the proverbial sense, and then,” He kissed him lovingly, “We can unpack and arrange it the way we want it together, before we go on our honeymoon.”  
Findekáno sighed dramatically, but smiled, “Alright, I’ll do it.”  
“Okay, cool.” Maitimo said, standing up, “Cause you didn’t get a choice in it, anyway, we had already decided it was going to happen.”  
“I’m not sure if I hate or love the fact you make it seem like I have choices in things when I don’t.”  
“I do it out of love,” Maitimo said, leaning in to kiss Findekáno one more time. “Because I love you, and respect you. And think you’re the best.”

“Hey,” Findekáno said, grabbing Maitimo before he could pull away. “Do you remember, before you got promoted to Captain, when you were still active combat and we got paired up to be an official unit because of how well we worked together?”  
“I do,” Maitimo said, warmly, sinking down on to his knees to look up at Findekáno, “After that first mission when we worked so well together, it’s so rare for people who aren’t family members to form psy-link connections as intense as we did.”   
“I was so excited. I was 18, and the entire station was lauding the partnership between me and an officer I’d always looked up to and kind of had a crush with. On top of forming a non-familial psy-connection with him.”

He ran his hand up Findekano’s arm, lovingly, “You saved my life. You took a risk you absolutely shouldn’t have to save my life.”

“I’ll always take risks to save your life, to save my family’s lives, or _anyone’s_ lives.”  
“You…” Maitimo shakes his head with a soft smile, “You drive me nuts. You drive your father and I nuts, you know? Our bond… That was the first and only time I’d formed a psy-connection like that, outside of my family.” Maitimo said, “Any kind of connection, let alone one like we had. Still have. I don’t know if I ever told you this…. But it was the first time I’d ever felt so…. Not alone. And when we got back to the station, I knew, I _knew_ that you were going to be my partner, forever. Even if I didn’t know then what forms the partnership was going to take.”  
Findekáno beamed warmly at him, “I miss those days, a lot. You, and me: field missions, side by side.”  
“The two of us, always making the poor unfortunate engineer we were paired with feel inadequate because they could never work their way in to our psy-connection enough to even begin to work. What a headache we were.”  
Findekano laughed, “And I never even felt bad for them, I’m a possessive ass, and I miss those days so much.”  
Maitimo grinned, “You are. But you and your siblings will be better, you’ll be such a kick ass team.” He kissed his knuckles, “And we’ll be married. It all balances out.”  
“And maybe someday you’ll be commander, and I’ll be your military captain.”  
“Or _you’ll_ be commander, and I’ll be _your_ captain.” Maitimo said, sounding wistful and somewhat… proud?  
Findekáno leaned down and kiss him. “Get out of here, you sap. I have a mission to prepare for, and siblings to prep.”  
Maitimo stood with a grin, “I’ll send you the debrief and general lay out for the mission.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, too,” Maitimo’s smile was warm, “Please don’t do anything wild, okay? I’m getting married tomorrow and you getting hurt would really throw a wrench in that. And if I we don’t bump in to each other after you get back…. I’ll see you on the Altar.”

Findekáno rolled his eyes, then smiled, “It’s a black box recovery from a run of the mill ship failure, what on earth kind of trouble could I get in to? I’ll see you on the Altar.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, friends.... I'm so sorry about the lack of update on this, it's been a while, and this is so far from a real update, it barely even makes sense to include it in the fic. But there's been a major logistical thing I've been hung on up since I literally started writing this, and I cannot for the life of me figure it out. Plus, life has come at me fast, as the commercials say, in the past two weeks, and it's made writing very hard, and writing a grand finale type something has been even hard, and I want to get it right. That run on sentence was a lot. ANYWAY, what I mean to say is- I'm sorry, and I'm really going to try to get this updated in finished. But I don't want to just rush it out, I want it to be good! Thank you for your continued support. I hope you enjoyed this in the mean time, I'm sorry it wasn't what you probably looking for! I promise to try to get the last two chapters ASAP


	11. the gentle grip of nights unfolding arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [gargling blood in the back of my throat] It's here, lads! An update! Thank you for bearing with me and I hope you enjoy it!!!  
> Note: an elleth is a female elf, used in lieu of the term 'woman'.

Fëanáro wept in devastation, he wept so deeply that it hurt his bones. Fëanáro could feel it, that he was dying, and there was nothing he could do about it. His leg had been broken in the fight against the beasts, which now prevented him from carrying his son to the med-ward; all he could do was cradle him here, in his dying moments.

One of the monsters had broken Fëanáro’s leg in its jaw, and Makalaurë had lunged at the wolf, recklessly, to prevent it from taking a fatal bite out of his father. Instead, he let it take a bite out of him, using the opportunity to stab the wolf through the cranium, and kill it.   
But the move had cost him, the wolf’s bite had been far too close to his jugular.

All parents knew that there was almost nothing worse than the death of your child, but Fëanáro knew now that having your child die for your sake was far worse. It was the most horrid, wretched thing you could imagine.   
  


_“Makalaurë…. Makalaurë…” He had pleaded desperately with his son, before he had lost consciousness completely, having crawled over to him to cradle him in his arms._ _“Makalaurë, can you hear me? Look at me, look at your Atar.”  
Makalaurë’s glazed over eyes had found him, and though he said nothing, a sort of peace and serenity came over him, seemingly reassured by his father’s presence; Fëanáro could feel it coming from his psy-receptor, and there seemed, mingled in the safeness and gladness, to be relief. He shut his eyes and turned in closer to his father’s touch, his heart beat beginning to slow._

And thats when Fëanáro had started to cry. He let the sobbing take over his body, let it consume his soul. He could hear his son’s heart beats, hear them as they grew slower and slower.

Safeness, warmth, reassurance- those were the last things his son felt before unconsciousness took him- why? Why?! Why would he feel those things for a father that couldn’t protect him? Could not keep him safe? Fëanáro’s head fell so that his forehead rested on Makalaurë’s cheek, the sobs beginning to quiet in him, calm resilience and determination settled over him. “I’ll be here, my little one,” he murmured, suppressing his heart break, “Your father will be here until you go.”

He could feel a piece of himself dying with his son. It seemed to him now, suddenly, that his soul was made up of seven parts, and those seven parts had all been divvied up amongst his sons. Each one had some ownership of his soul, some piece of himself he gave to them in their making; and his son,  _this_ son, was taking his piece with him- Fëanáro would never be whole, again.  
“I am sorry, Makalaurë, I am so sorry I never took the time to know you better….”  
He pulled back to look at his bone pale face. Makalaurë had never been pale, his olive skin was only barely lighter than his father’s, a fact that made the staunch paleness of his face, now, all the more jarring. The onyx-dark strands of his hair were startling against it, and as Fëanáro moved to brush them out of his face, a pulse of energy gusted them away for him. Fëanáro looked up, startled, to find a large crack had opened out of thin air, blinding white light radiating out of it, as two figures emerged from it.

Feanaro’s eyes readjusted from the light, as the crack closed, and looking to the two figures, his eyes settled first on the commanding figure of his eldest son, before they shifted to the significantly shorter figure in front of him.

“Maitimo?” He asked, dumb struck, as his eldest’s eyes fell on his younger brother and blew wide in horror; Fëanáro could feel the pain and fear coming from his receptor and could see the exact same thoughts running through his mind at the sight of him as had run through Fëanáro’s.   
But there was something else coming from his receptor: sadness, and a different kind of fear than the one inspired by his brother’s dying; it was a fear far more complex, and Fëanáro could not identify it.

“Maitimo, what’s happening!?” His grip tightened on Makalaurë’s body, “Who the hell are you?!” He snapped at the person with him.  
The person moved away from Maitimo, drawing nearer to them, and Fëanáro was suddenly struck by the strangeness of this stranger, nothing about him seemed natural, and Fëanáro shielded his son from him.   
  


“Atar, please!” Maitimo said, helplessly, “Let him heal Makalaurë, he can help him.”  
Fëanáro looked between the being and Maitimo. _Makalaurë is already gone,_ ran through his mind, _There is no hope for him, anyway._ It was that helpless desperation that encouraged him to open up his arms and let the being at his son, and a fire appeared in his palms, which he pressed into Makalaurë’s chest. Fëanáro’s eyes drifted back up to his eldest son, as he peered down at his brother.

Relief. But also… acceptance?  
Fëanáro sent emotionally intense and demanding nonverbal questioning out at his son’s receptor, and Maitimo’s eyes shifted up to his, carrying in them a terrible remorse.

 _‘_ Maitimo sent back to Fëanáro a feeling that he understood as a request for forgiveness- then he sent feelings that Fëanáro recognized as Maitimo’s feelings for his mother, Nerdanel, follow by that same request for forgiveness. Tears welled up in Fëanáro’s eyes as Maitimo immediately followed that up by passing on his feelings of love for their whole family to him, then the distinct expression for love.

 _I’m sorry. Tell Amil I’m sorry, too. I love you, and her, both; tell her and all my brothers I love them’_ Was what he was saying through feeling.

As the being drew away, Fëanáro’s attention was startled away from Maitimo by the sudden thumping of his younger son’s heart. He looked back down in shock, there was color returning to Makalaurë’s face- but Fëanáro couldn’t think about him right now, and his head turned back up.

 _“Maitimo...!”_ He hissed through his teeth.  
“There.” The being said, looking at his son. “Happy, now?”  
Fëanáro could feel the resentment and disgust radiating off of his son, and he noticed a shackle of flames tied around his son’s wrist, the end of the chain fading off in to the being’s palm.  
“No!” Fëanáro ground out, as the crack opened again, having grasped a general understanding of what was about to happen. Maitimo and the being began to step through it, and a fire surged in Fëanáro.

“NO!” He shouted, as he dropped one son in order to lunge up after another, despite his broken leg, “STOP!!”   
He threw his hands out, as if he could stop them, as if he could close the crack with the sheer force of his own will, and he was shocked when it seemed to work.

 Maitimo and the being stumbled back through the crack, as if rebuffed by some unseen force, and Fëanáro collapsed on his leg as it closed.

“What…?” He murmured to himself, eyebrows knitted together; but the being, who was looking around, wild eyed, seemed to settle his gaze on something over his  shoulder, and Fëanáro turned to follow his gaze.

Standing there was a elleth, who seemed not unlike the entity looking to take away his son. Her hair was flowing gently: it was black as the void, with reflections of blue shining in it when it hit the light, and there was twinkling like stars caught up in it, as well; her skin was a pale, blue tinted silver, and her lips were midnight blue. Eyes of vibrant violet gazed out at the scene before her, with one hand aloft. Behind her to the left were Arafinwë and his son, looking grim and resolute, and on her right was Findekáno, looking wroth.   
“YOU!” The fire haired being spat, the word sounded like someone had slammed on a minor key on a piano.

“Sauron.” She acknowledged- and _her_ voice had a beautiful resonance to it, like someone had gently caressed a bow over the smooth strings of a cello. “Would you like to make this easy by letting him go and taking your leave, or do you want to make this hard for everyone, and force me to teach you the same lesson twice?”

───── ✩ ─────

Findekáno toppled over, the glass wall he’d been banging on had suddenly disappeared, and he collapsed on the floor. He felt awful, he felt a hopeless, it was horrible feeling from the bottom of his heart and it was so, so painful.

He wanted his father, he wanted the safety of his father’s strong, loving arms; he wanted that feeling his father had always given him: that everything was going to be okay, if only because his father was there, and his father could do anything.  
Findekáno had never been one for inaction, was never prone to a feeling of helplessness. He was someone who never saw any task as impossible. But that was partly why this hurt so much.

 _This_ WAS impossible. Unbearably so.

Maitimo was gone. He had disappeared through a crack in time, and he could be anywhere in the universe now. Past, future or present- Findekáno had no way of following him.

Oh, but he did.  
He did! Findekáno shoved himself up off the floor, gulping down deep breaths as a tidal wave of urgency washed over and away all of those feelings of hopelessness.

He did have a way of following him.  
  


 _Findaráto_ , he thought, he had to find Findaráto, Findaráto could deal with this; then another realization hit him.

Maitimo asked that they go save Makalaurë before they left, which means they’re still on the station somewhere, right?! He and Findo wouldn’t have to go through the trials of trying to track them down, they could be stopped before they ever even left. Findekáno whirled around, mind racing and trying to figure out what to do. He needed to figure out where Maitimo was, and he tried reaching out with his receptor to try to pick up Maitimo’s, before he remembered that Makalaurë had been down in the medical wing. He whirled around for a third time, with a mind to run in that direction, until he was stopped by the thought, _What the hell are you going to do? What_ can _you do? You’re helpless against that creature._

 His mind was frantic, he didn’t know what to do, his body was being pulled in a million different directions.

Findaráto.

He couldn’t do this on his own, and even if they didn’t make it there in time, Findaráto would know how to find this person, they could just embark on another quest. And Findekáno didn’t care if he had to spend the whole rest of his life searching for Maitimo: that fucking alien wasn’t taking his fiancé- he wasn’t going to let either he nor Maitimo get away with this.

He took in a breath to calm himself, spun around, and found himself face to face with the very person he was looking for.

And then some.

“Findaráto?” He asked, in disbelief. His time traveling cousin was there, along with Arafinwë and an elleth he did not recognize.

If one could call her an elleth.  
She certainly looked elf-kind, but she also bore some resemblance to the creature that just stole his fiancé, an impossible being that seemed to shine like a star.

“Findekáno,” Findo said breathlessly, “What’s happened!?”

“You grieve,” said the new being, in a voice like music, “You grieve for a love lost…”

Findekáno stared at her gape mouthed. She looked like an elf, but she had the strangest colorings, purples and blues and silvers, as well as that gently flowing hair.

“There was, there was a-an alien. He looked somewhat like you- who, who are you?” He stammered at her, still in awe, before he remembered the severity of their situation. “Findaráto he took Maitimo!! That idiot sacrificed himself to save the station, but he said they were going to find and heal Makalaurë first, they’re still here, we have to go!”  
The elleth nodded, gracefully crossing the space between herself and Findekáno, “Don’t worry, he is not going anywhere. I’ve sealed off the space-time around here, it would take him quite a bit of time to undo a little hole for himself to get through. My name is Lúthien, I am friend to Felagun whom you call Findaráto, and we have faced this foe before, he and I.”  
She smiled, “That being is Sauron, and he stole my love, like yours, and Findaráto and I went after him to save him. Funny how this seems to echo that.”

“They’re trapped on the station?” His voice was quiet and hopeful.   
“They are.” Lúthien’s smile widened.

“I can still sense Maitimo’s mind,” Findekáno said, bent all his will towards his love's psy-receptor.  
“Take us there.” Luthien commanded.

───── ✩ ─────

“I do not take commands from you as if I were a child, you witch!” Sauron spat at Lúthien, “And I don’t make the same mistakes twice.”

In his sudden flare of rage he jerked hard, with extreme force, on the chain he had wrapped around Maitimo’s wrist, causing him to topple over with a shout of pain as he hit the floor.

“How dare you?!!!” Fëanáro shouted in response, before anyone else had time to react, and Findekáno and Arafinwë flinched at the surge of rage that shot out from Fëanáro’s receptor- so intense even people not of his family felt it to an unbearably visceral degree. Findekáno could see that Maitimo had felt it too, almost certainly with even more intensity, and his eyes squeezed shut from the pain of something so overwhelming. It made Findekáno’s heart seize, and his own rage that had abated from the shockwave of Fëanáro’s waxed to full again. “Let him GO!”

Sauron laughed a horrible, cruel laugh, “Or what!?” He yanked hard, again, on the chain around Maitimo’s wrist, pulling him up to dangle him like a prize, his eyes rolled, disoriented, blood flowing from a gash on his temple. “Either you let me go, or I incinerate him.”  
“And then you’ll be stuck here at our mercy with no bargaining chip!” Findaráto snapped, “Let him go, you’ve already lost.”

“I think not.” Sauron said, rolling his eyes, “I’d have no trouble getting out of the net she’s cast on my own, I’ve made the spacetime around here so nebulous that I can easily find a loophole. _He’s_ the only thing bogging me down, so-“ A flame sparked in the hand that wasn’t clenching Maitimo’s chains, and he smiled. “Are you going to let both of us go? Or are am I going to have to ruin a perfectly good specimen and flee on my own?”

There was dead silence in the hall, and Findekáno felt a gentle and comforting music his mind.   
_What would you have me do?_ It was Lúthien’s beautiful, soft voice. _Do I make a stand, here? Or risk letting him go? If I let him go I_ would _help you try to find and reclaim him, but I can make no promise as to the outcome._

Findekáno stared at Maitimo, who seemed dazed and not fully aware of what was happening even as he slurred out, “Let him kill me! Let him kill me, better than... Whatever he has in store….”  
“No!” Fëanáro half shouted, half growled; he had managed to stand up, with the help of a wary and concerned looking Arafinwë, and he was struggling to go forward against the elf holding him back.

“Don’t let him- don’t let him…. Hurt anybody, let him go-“ Maitimo slurred again, and Findekáno turned back to look his fiancé, who’s eyes seemed to be trying to focus on him specifically, and Findekáno pondered something, feeling surprisingly calm.

 _Findekano…?_ Luthien spoke softly in his mind again, and he turned to look back at her.

_If I can free Maitimo, will you be able to neutralize him, asap?_

She peered at him with that enigmatic face of hers.

_Yes, but that bond you see around his wrist cannot be broken by any but the one who cast it. Not even I can undo it._

He nodded at her, _I figured._

Her eyes widened as he allowed her in to his mind and saw his plan. Then she smiled, and nodded. _When last I faced him, my husband came away from it similarly. Go, do what you will, I will be ready to act as soon as it is done._

Lúthien turned back to Sauron, “I will let you go.”  
“But let me come with you!” Findekáno said, firmly, “Please, let me go with you. I don’t want him to be alone in this, or be without him.”  
“No!” Maitimo gasped out, ragged, horrified, as Arafinwë and Findaráto cried out Findekáno’s name in protest at the same time. Findekáno, though he did not know why, looked over at Fëanáro to see his reaction. His face was calm and critical, as if he _knew_ Findekáno had a plan, and was only trying to discern what it was.  
He turned back to Sauron, who seemed delighted, “Two elves for the price of one? Oh, I’ll most certainly take it.”  
The threatening fire in his hand disappeared, and was replaced by a new flame chain, like the one on Maitimo’s wrist. Findekáno could almost have laughed at the sheer arrogance of not suspecting deception at all.

Findekáno he stepped forward, his hand shaking- he had to get this right, and he had so little margin of error.   
“Findekáno, no, please!" Maitimo was almost on the verge of tears, it seemed, "Don’t be so valiant, don’t give up your life needlessly, please! I'd rather be alone than have you with me!” Maitimo pulled at his bonds, hard, but haphazardly.  
Findekáno ignored him, swallowing down tears. He crossed the space between himself, Maitimo and Sauron, and came to a halt in front of them, looking Sauron straight in the eye.

Sauron smiled at him, and gestured at Findekano’s wrist. This was it, Findekano had one chance. Using the process of raising his wrist for the shackle as a distraction (and ignoring Maitimo's rasping, excessively emotional protests), he moved his other hand at top speed, whipped his laser blade out of its holster, turned it on just as he slashed it through Maitimo’s wrist, right below the shackle.

Maitimo let out a horrific scream, and Findekáno dived away from Sauron, who looked like he’d been struck by lightening, pulling Maitimo away with him. He looked behind him, and was amazed to see tendrils of glistening purple light wrapping themselves around Sauron.

“ ** _Go, now!”_** Lúthien’s voice rang out, like a powerful battle horn from the most ancient times- perfectly tuned and terrifying, **_“Flee back to Morgoth in shame, bested by me, for a second time, and do not ever come to this place again, lest I teach you a third time.”_**

A scorching flame consumed Sauron, and he disappeared.

Findekáno turned back to Maitimo, to look at his face- he had passed out- the concussion and the pure pain of his wound had overcome him, and heat and weight welled up in Findekáno’s throat as the realization of what he’d done truly dawned on him.

He felt another body collapse next to him as his eyes gazed in horror at Maitimo’s hand, and he glanced over to see Fëanáro gazing at his son with wide eyes.  
“I’m sorry, Captain.” Findekáno gasped out, despite himself, “I’m sorry, I- I cut- his  hand-“  
“Don’t.” Fëanáro said, raising his eyes to look at Findekáno in awe, “Don’t apologize… You did exactly as I would have done, exactly what needed to be done. You saved his life, Findekáno… You saved him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, like I said, I hope you enjoyed! This chapter took the soul out of me, and it's such a relief to have it published. There's only going to be one more chapter. Maybe two because I have no control over my ability to constrain my writing. But definitely no more than 2, and the update will definitely be within the next three days. Thank you again to everyone who's been reading this, I love you guys!


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